Dont even think of it like that. Her life is harder than yours.

I think it’s most important to provide structure and safety
Be consistent. …
Stick to a schedule. …
Reward good behavior. …
Create a home safety zone. …
Look for nonverbal cues. …
Figure out the motivation behind the tantrum. …
Make time for fun. …
Pay attention to your child’s sensory sensitivities.

We have found with my grandson that sorting calms his violent moods. Whether it be books, playing cards, dvds etc just sorting them into different piles or colour codes. It always works and enables him to be calm and focused.

The number one thing you can do is find a way to be in touch with #actuallyautistic people, especially adults. They will know what is helpful and what harmful – ABA therapy is pretty universally condemned. The other thing you can do is always presume competence – she may not look like she understands but odds are high she does. Good luck!

I have a friend from high school who has an autistic son, she was also diagnosed as an adult when her son was. She is now an advocate and adviser. Search Lou Brown on Facebook, she’s incredible with lots of good tried and tested hints and tips