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Article How To Tackle Your Tween’s First Period Talk

By: Elizabeth Chapman – Lunette Australia
September 9, 2020

24 Comments

Sure, periods are natural and just a part of life but they can also be overwhelming and even scary for young girls. It’s important to approach your daughter’s first period talk with sensitivity and confidence. We’ve got all the tips you need to have ‘the chat’.

Elizabeth Chapman, the mother of 3 teenage daughters, gives the low down of how to approach that first period talk.

If your tween has started being grumpy for no apparent reason, answering back, or crying and doing a lot of extra sleeping, it’s a sign that their hormones have really kicked in and they’re in the early stages of puberty.

And if you haven’t had a conversation about periods with your tween yet, then you need to. Otherwise they will hear about it on the playground and you have no control over what they are told.

Don’t Go In All Heavy And Serious

The first period can start anytime between 8 – 14 years, with the average age being 12. Just keep the chat light and matter-of-fact. You can add lots of little conversations into everyday situations to build on the ‘first period talk’.

First Signs

The first signs can come long before the moods come and include body odour (particularly underarms), break-outs or tiny spots on their face. Small breast buds develop and pubic hair starts growing. Start by teaching proper body hygiene. Encourage them to shower daily, focusing on their face, underarms and vulva.

The Cycle

You may notice a light discharge on your tweens underwear (clear or white). This usually occurs around ovulation and your tweens body may start cycling for 3 to 12 months before their first actual ‘blood discharg’’ period. This is all normal. Casually point it out to them. And mood changes, headaches and tummy cramps (PMS) may accompany this cycling, so encourage your tween to take note of the pattern.

First Period Survival Kit

An easy way to introduce sanitary items to the conversation is to leave a box of tampons, or a pad or your menstrual cup out and let the questions come. And then make a ‘First Period Survival Kit’ together. This is essential! You’ll need one for home and one for the school bag. A pencil case or small make-up bag will do the trick and should include; a spare pair of underwear, a pad (disposable or cloth) or a pair of period underwear. Talk about how to use the products and go through what they would do if they got their first period at school or a friend’s place or while you were at work or away.

Sanitary Products

Make sure you cover all the options when talking to your tween about sanitary products and allow them to own their period by choosing the products they want to use. Modern cloth pads and Period underwear are brilliant for younger tweens and offer sustainable options that will save a fortune in the long term. Menstrual cups are suitable for teens who are more confident with their period and can take a few cycles to master.

Remember to talk to your tween about periods in a factual and positive manner, as this will build confidence and normalises their attitude towards menstruating and their changing body.

How would/did you approach that first period talk? Tell us in the comments below.

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Comments

  • So important to have open communication with this topic. I’ve known so many girls in highdc

    • *highschool who never had enough information until it was happening and they were in a panic. Thankfully back then we had dolly and girlfriend magazine to give us some info (and my first travel bag filled with Libra necessities). It’s important to foster a relationship where they feel they can discuss these things. I remember how embarrassing it felt

    Reply

  • Im a Mum of 3 girls so my girls knew about periods from a young age as they would often walk in on me on the toilet, etc and so it was explained to them. They knew that when they started they were just to come to me and we would sort it out together re the pads, tampons, etc

    Reply

  • These are really useful tips, I would keep them in mind when I talk to my daughter about periods.

    Reply

  • I appreciate these helpful tips. My daughters are still little but I’ll be tucking these away for when the time comes

    Reply

  • I started talking to my girls when they were around 8 as that was when I started with no knowledge of what was happening at all. It was scary for me and I didn’t want that to happen to my daughters. Very different reactions from both of them and one started at 9 and the other was still waiting till she turned 17.

    Reply

  • This conversation is so important. I found starting the conversation early on (probably around aged 10yrs) was helpful in broaching the serious topic of ‘periods’ with her. I began with talking about ‘growing up’ issues (i.e skin issues and pimples, body odour, body changes) in a light-hearted way seemed to help with her confidence levels and lessened her embarrassment to openly talk to me about the ‘growing up’ phase and puberty including periods. It is such a hard time for young girls and its no easy task for parents to talk to their tweens/teens about growing up!

    Reply

  • My kids learnt alot about this stuff at school. I have always been open with my daughter to ask any questions about it even though she finds it abit embarrassing.

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  • I told them openly and calmly. We also read through a couple of books together. They really seemed to enjoy the learning aspect of it. :)

    Reply

  • Thank you for sharing this article. I have 2 girls to talk about this.

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  • I will be explaining it to my daughter young. I didn’t get told anything when I was younger until I went to my mum crying not knowing what was happening.

    Reply

  • Great article! Yes, it pays to discuss well in advance otherwise it can be a huge shock and a very scary ordeal.

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  • I think talking about it earlier and making it part of normal conversation means it’s not a heavy conversation, but part of life. Mums can talk about their own periods when it’s happening and explain each month what’s going on, so their daughters are aware of it.

    Reply

  • We started talking about periods at a very young age. i think my daughter was around 5 or 6yr old when she was very interested in pregnancies and babies. She walked with her doll under the dress all day etc. So I started explaining she already has eggs in her tummy that potentially become babies when she gets older. That every month the body gets ready and when the eggs don’t get fertilized those eggs leave the body with some blood from age 12 or so. My daughter thought it was super interesting and exciting and when the time came she had her first period she felt excited about it

    • What a great idea explaining it so young. It would have made it a lot easier for her when it happened.

      • It did indeed, not only that; there was so much openess and enjoyment over her first period and now after some years that is still the case !

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  • Great article! As a teacher, I am shocked by how many young girls have no idea about periods. The survival kit is a must for anybody!

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  • I’m going to have to do this with 2 girls eeeek!

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  • I was just honest and caring about it all. My tween was still horrified with the reality of it when she actually got her first period.

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  • The kit is a great idea. How i wish period undies were around 20 years ago!

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  • After our ten year old had a series of lessons on puberty at school (which built on the less explicit conversations we’d been having with him), he decided to tell his 5 year old sister everything. So that was her first talk!

    Reply

  • Thank you for sharing. I like the idea of 1st period kit

    Reply
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