I don’t understand his reasoning “I don’t get enough sex to even think about having a vasectomy”
Vasectomy will not affect your sex life. It does not decrease your sex drive because it does not affect the production of the male hormone testosterone. It also does not affect your ability to get an erection or ejaculate semen.

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 18 Nov 2024 , 8:39 am

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  So the sex is important for this man but he doesn’t want anything to do with the potential results of sex (being a pregnancy) and he pushes his wife to terminate the pregnancy, which she doesn’t want. There may be women who have no difficulty with ending the life of an unborn baby, but there are also many who are pro life and struggle with this.

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    • • Ellen replied
      • 18 Nov 2024 , 8:43 am

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    Abortion can actually cause mental health problems
    Some are trauma symptoms: nightmares about babies, insomnia, negative emotions of guilt, anger, worthlessness, and shame, “blocking out the experience,” avoiding things that trigger memories about the abortion, “engaging in self punishing behaviors such as substance abuse.
    When this man loves his wife he wouldn’t force her. Seems to me this man loves sex, not his wife.

I would love to know if this couple is still together.
If he doesnt want the snip then he needs to wear a condom or No sex.

I think if they don’t want any.ore kids it is the responsibility of both of them to take necessary steps to prevent it not just the women taking pills etc.

Far easier for a male to have the snip than a female having her tubes tied. I think men dont do it as they feel less of a man, but what rubbish.Its so sad she has to go threw this

A vasectomy shouldn’t impact the amount of sex you have

My partner might make the same kind of argument but my rebuttal would be so: we might have more sex if I weren’t terrified of falling pregnant again.

I think there is some relationship worries here that need to be looked at before looking at who’s right or wrong. My husband had the snip after 3, and it was a joint decision.

This poor woman. I hope she seeks counselling and support for the trauma she’s so obviously exhibiting here. And I would frankly suggest she drag him to counselling and seriously discuss leaving him if he doesn’t start taking some responsibility too.

I can see where you’re coming from but I don’t think he is worth staying with if he is going to treat you like this. I don’t feel that there is any love in the marriage so I’d just leave him. Don’t have the termination if it’s not what you want. Speak to a councillor and find out what options you have as to living arrangements. Your so called husband is a twat and an a**hole to treat you in this way. I hope things work out for you. Take care

I was going through a hard time in my marriage and had a miscarriage and didn’t want to go through anymore pregnancy and my ex husband would demand sex and I had trouble with the pill and I asked the doctor to tie my tubes and he said I was too young of course I was furious with the dr and my ex was holding me down having sex and I fell pregnant again I was so upset ended up asking him to have a vasectomy he wouldn’t so I said I would ask the dr to tie my tubes and he said I wasn’t to get it done and I was still having trouble with taking the pill as it didn’t agree with me anyway again the dr said no to me. My marriage was terrible he never helped with the kids or me and I hated him so much as he wouldn’t wear a comdon and I fell pregnant I was at the drs crying begging for a abortion and my mental state was low the dr knew he was raping me so he arranged for me to have the abortion the day I was to go I just couldn’t do it. I told him I was having my tubes tied and he wouldn’t agree but said he would get snipped instead as that was I couldn’t have sex with another man. I stayed with him as I had no family to help me until one day I had enough of him coming home drunk and finally walked and went to a refuge and you have to work out what you want not him you as you have choices it’s your choice to keep the baby your carrying now and don’t bother with a selfish person that he is as your going through this trauma not him and he’s never going to change.

What a prick! And so disrespectful. He’s putting everything on you. This is not an equal relationship. He should be offering to take this on as you’ve already committed so much to this relationship. I just can’t believe this.

That’s a totally unfair answer from him. He obviously gets it enough to get you pregnant! However you also can’t force him to get one. There are still other options though so keep looking into it.

Somehow I think it is about time you stood up to your husband as it sounds as though you are a meek little girl who is trying to please someone who is very hard to please. He really isn’t worth all your effort if he won’t also step up to the mark. If he wants more sex tell him that once he has a vasectomy he can have it daily or even twice a day – watch him squirm then. I do feel sorry for you, but one of you has to be the adult in this relationship and it doesn’t appear from your post that he will be one any time soon. Good luck!

The abortion makes no sense.. its a natural by-product of what happened and surely children are not THAT difficult to look after financially (speaking as a mother myself and being someone who is very frugal and in debt) also, is that HIS decision? this abortion?? because it sounds like it is, there’s no harm in getting your tubes tied but also his response is completely unacceptable.

For me I made the final decision after the fourth pregnancy and three wonderful children and a miscarriage. My Gynaecologist was happy for me to be clamped and have no more Pregnancies. I felt great after the procedure. I feel safe and have no worries. It’s my body and my decision. Maybe you need to do this for yourself too! Taking charge is impowering and let your husband off the hook! Happy days!

So sad. If he doesn’t want the snip he should be using condoms to prevent pregnancy. As he says he doesn’t get a lot it shouldn’t be that inconvenient. His argument is totally ridiculous as it only takes once to make a baby if you are (un)lucky.

What a very sad situation. Me personally, I would have my tubes tied if I didn’t want anymore children and my husband didn’t want to get the “snip” and if he doesn’t get enough sex then I would make sure he certainly didn’t get it when i was ovulating and use every preventional method available.

I think both decisions need to be considered by both parties. You can say the whole it’s your body it’s your choice but then it’s on the woman with the additional child. There are many other contraceptive options although if he doesn’t want anymore children and wants to leave it all up to her to prevent/stop this maybe he should accept there won’t be sex. She is probably also depressed about it all, sounds to me like he doesn’t respect her.

He is being ridiculously selfish and with all the pregnancies it certainly sounds like a lot of sex. I personally don’t get the abortion thing though. If 2 people are together in a relationship they should make it work. There’s people who can help them and they both made the baby happen- there are many precautions available today.

Tricky spot. Both parties need to be considered here and what’s best. No easy answer