I would love an update to hear how you coped and where things sit now.

My comment to you is that your children KNOW you are their mum/mummy and would probably feel awkward around your mother, their grandmother, by her insisting they call her ‘mummy’ and it will drive them away from her. There is nothing you can do about it – she has manipulated her own demise with your children. It appears to me that she has been a manipulative type of person always – your father bows to her ways and she tried to get you to do the same. You have been strong and risen above her ways, and your children will do the same. I feel sure you and your family [children, husband and father] will go on to live wonderful loving lives, but your mother will be a lonely old lady who will hope other people will feel sorry for. Pity – but she did it to herself – and don’t you ever feel any responsibility for that!

I congratulate you on being an amazing mum who can speak about such a toxic situation.
Very glad to clear you have support and have chosen to live a peaceful life.

The old adage, “we live and learn” . I’m so glad that you have been given the strength and support through this medium as it has shown you, she doesn’t have this power over you anymore.
Bitter and twisted comes to mind, though name calling is an empty solution. Being proactive living a life that is about your values and building your family will be your true reward.

I really hope that you decide to cut out this negative toxic person from your life. No child should ever be told any of this stuff. I’m so glad you have decided to stand your ground though

I am so pleased you found courage and support through the Mums here – a terrible thing for you to have to deal with through the treatment and behaviour of your Mother ….

I couldn’t believe it when I read your original post. I suppose I didn’t want to believe that a grandmother would be like that. It’s so great to hear of the other Mum’s encouraging words for you. I for one am glad that you never listened to your so called mother when you were growing up. Stay strong and move forward preferably away from your mother. Wish you all the best and take care of yourself and your family.

I saw the original post and was shocked and disgusted at how a mother could treat her daughter that way! I’m so glad she found closure in our comments and support and is able to move forward!

It’s never too late to recover. I’m 50 and have only just realised through therapy the role my mother has played in my life. I didn’t realise how bad it was, it was just my normal. I’ve now come to terms with it for what it was, realise my mum is a narcissist who needs the attention, that I was her supporter and protecter whilst she never did that for me. Only through therapy can I now feel at peace and let go, and be okay with it.

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 13 Nov 2020 , 8:52 am

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  Yes, it’s never too late to recover ! Good on you rovermum !!

I’m sorry you experienced such emotional abuse growing up, I hope you can get some peace in your heart and mind now

Wow, just wow. How you still have this woman in your life is a testament to your character.

Oh dear thus sounds terrible and a lot of childhood trauma I hope you’re able to work through now

Doesn’t sound like a very healthy relationship to be honest. I hope things can improve for you

I also agree with mom462038.
Sending wishes for better times for you and much love. xx

So glad that things are settling down for you. No one needs that negativity in their life!

I’m glad you felt supported by the comments and understanding on your previous post someonesmother !
Your mums words and attitude have been cruel on the least and it amazes me you still let her have a part in your life. But I totally understand that these ties or cords are not easily cut and whether you do that or don’t it will go with feelings of hurt. However now you have your own family you have to protect them and yourself against her poisonous influence.
The fact that your father never fails to remind you to keep the peace and never let you forget that there is nothing worse than upsetting your mother, shows how at this point can’t cut the ties with her and maybe never will. In a way he sounds afraid for her and for the conflicts she can cause and that is very sad.
Bless you someonesmother, don’t hesitate to post again to seek support ! xx

Wow! After reading this I’m wondering what the hell is up with your father? Just telling you to accept his wife’s behaviour towards you. Is he frightened of her? Did he have anything to say when you were coping the abuse growing up??? Perhaps it’s time to re evaluate your family.
Sorry to hear that you have such a horrid woman in your life. You don’t need people to tell you to be strong, just you being here is proof enough that you already are! And you are stronger than most, but now you need to take the final step and be rid of her, not just for your sake but your children’s too! My kids have never met my mother, I’m not even sure if she knows about any other than the first. She wasn’t wanted or needed in my life so I cut all ties and boy did I feel great!

That is just awful. I thought it was bad enough that she wanted your kids (her grandkids) to call her mum. I suggested if she continued that you might consider stopping her from visiting all together. Now I’ve read this, im even more confident that no contact is best for your family.

What a difficult sounding relationship with you mother you must have. No one should have to hear those words that have come out of your mothers mouth. Good on you for choosing you and your kids first from now. Goodness knows what your kids might hear from her in the future.