Its very possible that he thinks you are ok with him going off on the golf trip.
This is were you needed to stay calm and simply tell him how you were feeling and if he then said well tough luck im still going…..then you had an issues and a right to be angry but people cant read minds. You need to let your partner know what you need and give them the chance to forfill that before getting angry with them.

No. He should be home. Just for the fact that you shouldn’t be driving for six weeks after a Caesarean.

If you feel you can manage then I’d let him go. Your MIL is on hand if you need her. My husband went on a work trip for a week when my twins came home on oxygen after 3 months in the NICU, I just made sure I had support in place if I needed it.

My problem would be have to deal with my family complaining about him not being there to help. It is only two days though and you will have help. I guess the other thing stressing me out would be people coming to stay for a week. Unless they’re immediate family can’t they stay elsewhere? And if they are immediate family, put them to work.

If I was the wife I’d be making sure my own little kid free getaway was on the cards and being planned asap. We all deserve some time away for fun and a recharge. I think what stands out most here is his crucial communication is. Don’t stew in anger, talk to your significant other!

It is a bit selfish but you have your MIL on hand if needed. Ship the 2 oldest off and relax with bub. The housework will always be there so don’t stress the catch up, it’ll happen

I have had 3 c sections and as much as they are painful…i would be ok with the trip if he had told me about it before. Its 3 weeks, not 3 days… also, he has arranged help for the other 2 and the house wont burn down in 2 days either, those chores can wait…husband or not. Also, he is helping and promises to take up once he returns. Men also need a break at times. Looking at the brighter side of the picture is important at tines

I’m of 2 minds here. When I had my kids it was only 2 weeks paternity leave, so I needed to do things on my own after that and my second child was by caesarean too. There’s no excuse that he’s been slacking off on doing housework, however, I was still able to do some things after the caesarean. As to the 4yr old throwing a tantrum- if you want to correct the behaviour it’s best to walk away or ignore, not reward by picking them up. 4 is starting to get a bit old for tantrums. I can understand being jealous and a little cheesed off at being left behind, but it’s only 2 days and her hubby probably needs a break too. Maybe she should also have a night off or something later? It’s simple enough to express milk.

I do think he’s being selfish going off and leaving you alone. If you can afford it, see if you can get a cleaner if for a couple of days to clean the house from top to bottom and give him the bill when he gets back from his “break from all the work he’s had to do”. Wonder how he’d feel if you did the same to him after he’d hurt himself and couldn’t do much. Take it easy and don’t worry about the housework. Just let your visitors know that your husband went golfing for a couple of day and you couldn’t do any of the housework.

Yeah I think I’d be a bit upset as well but honestly having company coming to stay for a week while i had a newborn would stress me out more 🙁

I assume that cancelling last minute means he’s losing out on accommodation? I personally don’t think it would be an issue if you had spoken up earlier, such as day after having bub or in the first week.

Assuming the c-section was your first or unplanned, i can understand how that would take you both off kilter. An idea would be to talk to your husband. Especially if this is a new experience for you both and let him know that you were still in pain and while you appreciate that he arranged help, you need his moral support and could the golf trip be postponed?

I’d take it as peace and quiet for me and the new born. It’s only 2 days and he’s organised help with the other 2.

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 20 Sep 2023 , 7:11 am

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  True, it can also be a lovely time to bond

I’d be more concerned about the visitors coming for a week!!
At least he was thoughtful enough to arrange care for the older 2.
Speak up! If it’s bothering you, say something, if not, arrange a house cleaner.

You definitely have a right to feel this way and I’m sorry your husband won’t be there to support you entirely and he chose friends and golf over doing so, annual or not your current family situation is WAY MORE IMPORTANT!
In every regard it’s more important.

I know for one my husband wouldn’t in his wildest dreams be even thinking of being anywhere but with me and our children, he WANTS to be.

Even IF he had something he did annually it would of been without any questions cancelled.

Having a baby is one of the biggest adjustments and things your body can do. And having a c section myself, I know I only felt like my true self at around 6 weeks even then it was still an overwhelming time.
3 weeks was still a bit tender and easing into newborn life.

A husband/partner and new father’s support for the situation at this time is paramount and should be unwavering.

What do they need a break from ? For two days you’re joking.
Have that well well after the fact when your body is healed and your family is settled.

Congratulations and best of luck ????

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  • • mom453685 replied
    • 19 Sep 2023 , 6:57 am

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  The question marks at the end were in fact meant to be love hearts haha

She has a right to voice her concerns. I feel is is just a selfish male who is putting his own needs first. He needs to be there for his wife and kids.

I can’t really comment as I’m not familiar with C sections. But I think the communication needs to be a bit more open.

Normally I’d say a two day trip is no problem, but the timing is really bad. She has valid concerns.

More communication, specially in those challenging moments.

He sounds like he’s arranged help for you, and probably has no idea it’s an issue for you. Unfortunately I think you needed to have a discussion with him before now if you didn’t want him to go.

I think you’re still feeling a bit overwhelmed by everything & I know I would be too, but I also think he may be as well. You will have your mother in law to help so don’t be afraid to ask her for more if you need. I know you will be ok, go mumma you got this & it will be back to normal in no time