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Article ‘I Was Called An ‘Evil B*tch For Excluding A Classmate From My Daughter’s Party’

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A mum has been called an ‘evil b*tch’ by another mum, after her daughter’s birthday party exposed a rift between friends.

The drama unfolded after the 36-year-old mum booked a birthday party for her 13-year-old daughter at a trampoline park, which offered a play and sleepover package.

“Her school is very small, so there are only 20 students in her entire year,” the mum explained.

“When we were booking the event, my daughter said to only book 19 places. I asked her if she was sure she wasn’t missing out someone, but she assured me there were only 19 kids in her class, and I was just misremembering.

“Fast forward to her birthday, and this girl Kamilla shows up with an entire box full of gifts: teddy bears, perfume, candles, nail polish, flowers, chocolates, etc. I remembered picking up my daughter from school at the beginning of the school year and seeing her chatting and being very friendly with Kamilla, so I assumed they were quite good friends.”

But the mum soon realised that her daughter no longer wanted to be friends with Kamilla, and hadn’t invited her for a reason.

“When Kamilla went up to hug my daughter and wish her a happy birthday, she lightly pushed her away and told Kamilla she couldn’t attend as we forgot to book her place. I apologised to Kamilla and her mother and offered to talk to the people in charge and pay for her place, but my daughter insisted that Kamilla couldn’t come. Kamilla was very distraught over this and started sobbing.

“I pulled my daughter aside and asked her why Kamilla couldn’t join, even though they used to be friendly and she’d invited every other student in her year. She said that Kamilla was just really weird, obsessive, and creepy, and she didn’t want to be friends with her anymore. I asked her if Kamilla was bullying her, and she said no, she just didn’t want to be around Kamilla. Kamilla’s mother had found out about the party through another parent and Kamilla decided to surprise my daughter knowing she hadn’t been given an invite.

“I returned the gifts to Kamilla, apologised again, and gently told her that there weren’t enough spaces.”

That’s when Kamilla’s mum let loose, furious at how her daughter was being treated.

“Her mother started screaming at me, telling me that I was a grown adult woman bullying a preteen girl. I told her that it was my daughter’s birthday party, she could invite whoever she wanted. She accused me of raising my daughter to be a bully, and that she couldn’t just invite the entire class and exclude one girl. She claimed that Kamilla was my daughter’s ‘best friend’ and she had to right to be invited.

“I told her that my daughter’s a teenager, not a five-year-old, she can’t be forced to invite the entire class just to be nice. I said that I didn’t want to raise a doormat. I didn’t want to teach her to value the feelings of others at the expense of her own – if my daughter feels uncomfortable around someone, then I prioritise HER wellbeing over that of a stranger’s.

“Kamilla’s mother is now talking to the teachers to punish my daughter for ‘bullying’. I’ve tried explaining to her that my daughter was simply setting her boundaries, she shouldn’t have to face consequences for that. Kamilla’s mother said that I was an ‘evil b*tch’ who ‘took joy in bullying little girls’.”

The mum now wants to know if she’s the one in the wrong. Leave your advice in the comments below. 

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Comments

  • I think it’s strange that the girl just showed up uninvited, but also why was she the only one left out. Seems cruel to me. Sounds like this poor girl may be being bullied.

    Reply

  • This is such an awkward situation and maybe a big lesson about kindness for all involved.

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  • A complex situation !
    I think that all parties involved have really something to learn

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  • It’s nothing to do with the school. It’s a tricky situation. I wonder why she doesn’t want to be friends with her. Surely she is not really great friends with every other child except this one.

    • I agree, the teacher / school has nothing to do with it

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  • Boundaries are so important and its good that as a mother she stuck up for her daughter

    • I agree; it is ok to be assertive and have boundaries and trust your feelings and thoughts.

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  • Setting boundaries is very important and parents need to act in a respectful and mature way.

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  • I would generally avoid excluding just one child without a really strong reason. It’s a bit of a cheek turning up uninvited though. On balance, I think first mother was right to stand up for her daughter’s feelings and right to invite who she wants to her party.

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  • What an awful position to be in. I’m not sure your daughter has a good reason to not include this girl tho

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  • I think The daughter is the most in the wrong, especially when she hid it from her mother that there were actually 20 kids not 19 in the year.
    The girl shouldn’t have just turned up either, nor the mother rant, but I think you sometimes do need to value the feelings of other over your own and she should be taught this. I’m sure she’d hate to be the only one left out.

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  • Both sides are in the wrong! Giving the impression that you were going to invite but didn’t is just harsh and cruel.
    Kamilla knew she didn’t get an invite, so she shouldn’t have turned up full stop.
    Kids need to learn resilience, caring and thoughtfulness. If you’re not invited thats absolutely okay and as the party holder you need to think about your actions and words and how it can affect people.

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  • Very manipulative gaslighting it feels is happening after reading this. When Kamilla arrived with presents to the party your daughter has told her we forgot to book her place. That says she was invited. To treat a person this way is horrible nasty and being a bully, So is calling her creepy and weird. Excluding 1 child from a year level of only 20 is rude too. Seeing Kamilla distraught crying and embarrassed is disgusting. Your daughter set out to achieve what she wanted to and roped you into it all too. If she wasn’t invited your daughter would of said what are you doing here you didnt get invited, not we forgot to book your place your girl needed pulled in and a stern talking too. No mother or child rocks up uninvited to a kids party. Do you actually believe this your self?? Or is the mother then making up things too hide very bad behaviour from daughter and mother? Your daughter doesn’t have to invite everyone in class its up to her how she wants to be as a person in this world. Bullying is not tolerated either I’d be mad too poor Kamilla is learning a hard lesson in life that yes not everyone is nice and there sure are so nasty people out there.

    Reply

  • No written or messaged invite should have given the other mum cause for pause, then to reach out to OP to clarify. While it’s sad thinking of a girl excluded, if the birthday girl had reasons to not include her then that’s valid. It would have been so much better to have avoided an embarrassing moment for the other girl, which is why the adults should have had prior communication. I don’t think OP is in the wrong, she was looking out for her own daughters happiness.

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  • I would never take my daughter to a party if she hadn’t received an invite. The mum should have known better and checked in with the mum planning the party if her daughter hadn’t received an invite. What an awkward situation to be in but i agree with the mum hosting the party, her daughter is a teenager and should be able to choose who she wants to have at her party. This was a really unfortunate situation to be in but the mum should not have then gone to the teachers to complain about bullying as the girl was not invited to start with. I would always reach out to the parent of the child who invited my daughter beforehand. What a messy situation and i agree, your daughter can make her own choices, she doesn’t have to invite anyone she doesn’t want to. She is old enough to understand and make her own choices.

    Reply
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