Im upset for you. If hes never been home with the kids all day without you, then he hasnt experienced the full time job of being a stay at home mum. You should recommend doing a swap with him or even leaving the kids with him on his day off

Oh dear! I feel terrible for this poor mum. Being a mum is one of the hardest jobs in the world. And not to mention the ages of the kids too. OMG. I think her husband has no empathy. He needs to step into her shoes for just one day while she has a girls day out with her bestie. He needs a reality check.

I’m lucky to have my husband at home all the time. He is taking care of our oldest who is 2 years old soon, while I’m with our newborn. He knows 100 percent how hard it is. He always says it’s the hardest thing in the world to be parents. He never told me anything like that. He doesn’t need me to clean, cook or any other work.
That man of yours is pathetic.

Gee! I feel so angry for you. He’s hardly ever there and he doesn’t actually see the value of work you actually do. He’s off living by himself and only home whenever and then he tells you that you should start working again, for what?? You should be putting an ultimatum to him. Ask him to not work overseas anymore and when he comes home, you take off. Tell your friends and family not to help in any way and let him see how hard it really is and especially with a special needs child. How bloody ignorant of him. I really didn’t think men thought like this anymore because I have friends that husbands take the initiative and cook meals and clean etc etc just as their wives do without them even asking. Also their wives go away for girls trips. So don’t let him sleep in, get him up and take the car keys and say, “seeing I don’t do much to be exhausted I thought I’d take a couple of days so you and the kids can get closer. See how he goes. He’ll soon be sorry he ever said it. Grrrrl. So angry for you. You and every other mother do spectacular and no one should diminish your value..

Though you don’t see him often and it would be hard to through away time together as a family, I’d sit him down next time he is home and explain that he has absolutely no idea how much you do on a day to day basic. Write him a list of what he has to do and then go out for the day.

Gosh i feel you mumma! Sometimes my partner says it in passing, not in a rude way, but he just doesnt understand how his words land. It’s the work they dont see we put in. The mental load and making sure everyone has everything! Until he had a month off and basically did what i did and he now understands!

Do you want to go back to work? If you do then look around at options for childcare. Have you looked at receiving help from the NDIS for your child with Autisum?.. It might be worth looking into.
Perhaps when your husband is home dont be so accommodating for him and leave him with the kids for the day and a list of th8ings that need to be done. Just go out, switch your phone off and relax with a book in the park or something. Let him see exactly why you are overwhelmed. He should be fine as he finds what you do no stress at all.

The best thing you could do would be to go back to your old career and put the children into care. That would show your husband all the little things you do across the day and the week which adds up to your job. I always say I went back to work as my break as looking after kids full time is much more exhausting!

I think hubby needs a reality check here. He is off living his best life with a dream job overseas, only home at weekends and not really being a father or husband at all! It’s no life for the struggling wife and really not fair for her. She really needs to try and find a support network and hubby needs to find ways he can step up, even if it is just at weekends. He is a parent too.

Let him take the kids for 7 days while you take a vacation to your parents house without the kids and let him swallow his words. Unbelievable. I feel outraged reading this, you deserve more from your partner than that. You deserve someone with empathy and who can see your value! Unbelievable

Let him take the kids for 7 days while you take a vacation to your parents house without the kids and let him swallow his words. Unbelievable. I feel outraged reading this, you deserve more from your partner than that. You deserve someone with empathy and who can see your value! Unbelievable

I’m so sorry. I suggest the next time he’s home you go away for a few days, just you. Firstly, you deserve a break and more importantly, he will get just a hint of what you do. Leave no instructions or directions. See how he deals with it. If that doesn’t change his mind, then you’re in the wrong partnership I believe.

It’s really sad reading your story. You’ve got your hands full. You deserve a break, but since that seems unattainable with your partner, you at the very least deserve respect and praise! Not ridicule and extra pressure.. I can empathize because I was in a a similar position. My partner would say Saturday’s were his ‘mental health’ days as apparently, I got them every day since I didn’t work!
I’m shocked by how people still see it this way.
Anyway, all I can say is you’re not alone.
If you haven’t already, you could apply for NDIS funding to support your child with Autism. Stay strong mama! x

That’s very disheartening that your husband doesn’t value the contribution you make. Perhaps a reminder that without you fulfilling the role you do, he wouldn’t be able to fulfill his.
Additionally, he gets to clock off but you do not. You are on call 24/7 and your work never stops.
Hopefully he’s willing to have an open discussion with you about this, and recognises the mental and physical load you’re carrying. And what the consequences would be if you burn out.

Easter is coming up and I am wondering if you could possibly get away for a week at least without the children …leave your husband to mind the children and run the house . I am sure he will soon realise just how very important you are. It will give you a very need break.

Maybe try sit down with your husband and have a deep conversation on how you are both feeling with the changes. Being a stay at home mum is not easy at all and I’m sorry that you are going through with your own mental health issues at the same time.

The comment below from ChiWren is so very on point about burn out. People can indeed experience burn out at work and home and in many areas of life. In any partnership; it is so very important to support each other and lift each other up and not tear each other down.

Try going away for a week and leaving him in total charge – and when you come back, check up on whether he did everything you do! Make sure friends don’t step in to rescue him. Okay, it’s harsh, but I bet then he’d have a better appreciation of all you do.

I would want to absolutely cut sick at my husband if he said something like this to me. I’m a sahm and it’s a full on role that is very exhausting. I wouldn’t even know where to start with this conversation, especially when he has these underlying issues and wants her to return to work.
I do hope she can find time for herself. Burn out is so real

This is super frustrating! My husband used to say stuff like this, and then he had a day with just him and the kids and he never mentioned it again! My kids are older and at school now so it gets easier! I actually worked 2 days a week and it was less mentally draining than being at home with the kids! I needed some adult interaction!