I think this can work really well, and can be a real postiive for the kids involved. However, they do need to think in advance about what can go wrong – or just change. What if one of them wants to move for work, for instance? You need to really talk this through first.

Its definitely a tricky road to go down and you really need to know all the ins and outs as best you can before you make life changing decisions for 3 people who would be involved for a long time to come, not even considering potential future partners on both sides

I am sure you have both given this a lot of thought and your child will be happy and well loved by you both. I can see many pluses in the arrangement, but there are also negatives. One of you or a friend should play devil’s advocate and come up with all the what ifs for down the track. Have a legal agreement drawn up by a solicitor if possible, with all the answers to all the problems sorted through that you both agree upon. That should stop the no. 1 worry of one or both of you meeting mr. or mrs right sometime down the track and needing to alter your current arrangement. If it is down in writing, you will know what to do from the beginning of the new relationship and no hardship should occur to the child. Go for your dream and good luck.

I think this will work well provided you do have legal advice. You have a lot to consider including who pays for what and emotionally how visitations are organised. I hope all works very well for you both and should do if you don’t rush into it before working out the details of care and cost. Good luck.

The child will no doubt be loved and wanted, but make sure that you have considered as many possible outcomes and have collectively written down everything so it is agreed on in advance. It all seems like a great idea now, but if anything changes, you would want to have a framework in place. What if either of you found the partner of your dreams and wanted to start having other kids with them? What if either of you needs to move for work? How do you feel about each others families? What does a shared custody arrangement look like in practice? Who pays for what? As the last thing you want is two equal parties fighting over things that could easily come up in future for their shared child.

I understand why you would want to do this and you’ve thought everything through but would you really be able to be away from your baby? Could you live together for the first few months at least? Maybe in your house one week and his in the next. The only concern I’d have is if one of you found the love of your life, what would that do to your relationship and name changing of your child? Hope you can get it worked out to suit you both and your child

You both want a child so it will be loved. You are both financially stable, have discussed options. This is more than some couples do. Also it won’t be an unwanted pregnancy so that is another plus. Some kids spend time at both parents houses and the parents are at war with one another so your plan seems well thought out and planned . All I can say is go for it

Great answer. I think they should co-habitate to make it easier on the child and on the parents.

The family dynamic is probably more stable than some relationships, but I agree that 2 homes for the child is probably not the best thing. Since they get along so well together, maybe they should consider co-habitation, so that the child would get a more normal upbringing. Otherwise, especially in the first year, I think that the parenting could be very hard. Especially with sleep and night feeds, etc.

I think only you can know how well you know and trust each other. I am on the on the concerned side. If there was an option of a single parent I would try to head that way. What if you form a relationship down the track and have more children. It would be so hard for all. The situation of 50/50 works for many because they have no choice. Opting for it is a big decision.

It sounds like the child would be raised with a lot of love poured into them by two people who really want to be parents. It could be hard for them to have two house holds from the get go. But as others have said, a loved and wanted child will have everything they need.

I wish you both the very best. The child will be lucky to have both of you to love them. Good luck to you both.

It sounds like you have both thought about this, but what are you going to do if either of you find a partner down the road? What are you going to tell the child when he/she will be old enough? I know someone that had sex with a friend just to get pregnant and that situation isn’t working too well.

i dont think its selfish at all and I disagree with the people saying its not fair on the child. This can work wonderfully and the child can feel extra lucky that it has two homes and gets to have special time with each parent. As long as the parents are on the same page all should be good.

It can be very helpful to find other people and families in similar situations and hear their stories and experiences. Sharing a wealth of knowledge and lived experiences can assist people and families with making important decisions. Also read stories and books about this issue; it can also assist with making informed decisions.

I don’t think this is fair on the child, how will they feel being spread across two different homes? I know this happens when couples split up or divorce but to choose it from the beginning isn’t right

Honestly there are so many children in much less ideal situations. The child would obviously be wanted and loved and the parents get along well so theres no tension there. Kids are super adaptive and families are becoming more and more diverse. I can’t see why this wouldn’t work well. 🙂

I have no experience with this type of family dynamic and the logistics of how it works. It would be a good idea to work with someone to clearly identify how this dynamic would work and to be very clear about roles and responsibilities; this applies to all types of family dynamics; clear and concise communication.

I have no experience with this type of parenting, nor do I have good or bad experience with co-parenting. In the end of the day I think that when you really want something to work, you can make it work. However I think continuous communication and sharing between the parents would be needed on a daily basis

It would be nice if they could live together to raise their baby.
I had a friend who was engaged to a man but they never went beyond that. They have a baby together but live in two separate houses because he didn’t want to move out of the house he raised his other children and she didn’t want to move into a house he shared with his ex wife. I felt for the baby not living with both parents because they were too stubborn to work out how to live together for their child. But that was my feeling and they made it work a d the child was fine with the situation, so I guess if these people can make it work it might work out alright