The house smells so bad
the stench of poo lingers.
Oh wait, oh no!
Is that sh%t on my fingers?
It’s under the nail.
Must wash it quick.
I head to the sink
as my baby is sick.
Give me a break kids
Really? Both ends?
I need to get out
to visit my friends.
We discuss the highs
and lows to being “mum”.
Whilst kids play and jump
and fall on their bum.
Compare our birth stories
Share “OHHH, AHHH and WOW.”
To be honest I think
we should all take a bow.
12 hours, 2 days?
No mine was three.
Then an offering from the midwife
of toast and strong tea.
Second time is better.
It’s out with a whoosh.
A few sharp contractions
and one mighty push.
No time for epidural
or even gas and air.
They tell you at the hospital
while you yell in despair.
“Introducing our new baby.”
“Mother is doing well.”
That’s because we get on with it
so no one can tell.
Our stomachs wobble.
Our boobs start to sag.
Then Hitler kicks in
and we instantly nag.
“His bed time is seven.”
“We must go back home.”
“Stop that, don’t do that!”
“No, leave that alone”.
Us women, we’re amazing.
Bloody machines.
Yet we pray every night
we’ll fit back in our jeans.
Welcome to the group.
It’s called motherhood
We’re ready and listening.
You are understood.
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