I found the hospital staff to be awesome. My experience was only positive.

That is awful. It would be stressful enough having a Nicu baby

Hope horrible to have to read comments like that!!!
I honestly would have complained.

I was Manager of a NICU. I would be very upset if my staff became judgemental and not objective!! They should look at the family dynamics & home situation. Have always encouraged parents if they can’t physically be there, a phone call suffice. Having a preemie in NiCU is stress enough! I hope the family followed up with discussion with the Charge Nurse.

As a mum of a prem born at 25 weeks you constantly have that feeling of am i spending enough time with my baby. We had an amazing and beautiful team of Doctors and nurses who were so supportive during our 117 days of the Nicu journey. It was also during Covid so only parent could visit at a time and no siblings so i think they also were understanding of this. Im so Sorry this mother had to go through this as the Nicu rollercoaster is difficult enough and many think once you are home then all is well but it can go on for years. Sending my love to all families currently on there journey and know that its all worth it in the end. And you are doing your best. Xx

I am so thankful that judgements like that were not available when my premi baby was born. I already had two children at home and my husband was in hospital with a burst appendix. Both my baby and I had to have blood transfusions after her birth and both of us nearly died. She had to stay at the hospital until she gained weight to 6kg and we none of us were allowed to touch her, pick her up or cuddle her, but I delivered breast milk for her every day. As the time went on, I just couldn’t go into the ward as it was too distressful for me to only be able to look at her, and not touch her and she was in the hospital for 6 months after her birth. Eventually the staff said she could come home, but by then I had other people delivering my breast milk and I couldn’t go to see her as I felt so bad in myself.

Depends how they were written

It depends how the notes were actually written – notes should be objective rather than subjective, without seeing the notes hard to know if it was judgemental or just facts written objectively.

I have never experienced in NICU. This is really disappointing as a new mum.

How distressing for you especially since they don’t know the full circumstances. I wonder how they would have felt if you went there and took your child with disabilities with you, or your husband dropped in as soon as he finished work. Don’t take any notice of them.

What a terrible and heart wrenching situation ….

My second daughter was in NICU for one night and day – she had been in the SCN at the hospital she was born in before abs after that.
I didn’t visit her at all while she was over at the other hospital in the NICU. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I was still in my own hospital recovering from her birth. And I was told I would have to check myself out from my hospital in order to visit her and wouldn’t be allowed back when she returned (she went to NICU) for specialised testing that couldn’t be done at our hospital.
I wanted to be there with her but simply couldn’t. And my husband didn’t visit as he was also trying to take care of our two year old as well.
Hare to think what comments might have been written about us from the NICU staff…

I haven’t experienced Nicu personally, I understand though that doctors and nurses do need to take notes on things like that, it’s their job. There are some cases where people may not come back or other cases where the department of family and children welfare need to be involved it’s that kind of information that is important.
I also understand how hard it must have been for that mum to feel attacked and shamed by those notes. But also in saying that, her newborn baby needed her to be there as much as she could.
As a parent, she should have the responsibility of driving herself, or finding other ways of transport to be there for her newborn.

Awww, this is terrible. This family is so vulnerable and to read and learn this would have just added to the situation.

As someone who works in this field, that’s kind of disgusting to hear.

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 15 Apr 2021 , 7:58 am

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  Yes, there’s no excuse for this type of behaviour. It’s not professional either.

I can only imagine the stress of the whole situation for any parents. Especially if they have a special needs child already at home. I think whilst they possibly needed to note the parents visits they could have discussed how the parents were coping, for some the whole seeing your baby in the hospital may be too overwhelming and a simple discussion could have gone a long way.

Both my girls went into special care and NICU as they were premmie.
For both I was there at 4-5am in the morning and stayed until 8-9pm. Of course I did pop out for lunch or to have a coffee when they were asleep but they were MY babies.. not the nurses. I wanted to be there as much as I could even if there wasn’t much I could actually do.. just having a bit of skin to skin or tube feeding and nappy changes. Anything I could do to start that bonding process I wanted to do it.
My first I was persuaded more to do things by the nurses as I didn’t know any better..
however by my second I had researched and spoken to many mums so advocated for myself more even after 1 nurse tried to be a bit pushy.
Overall 95% of my time in special care and with the nurses was good.

I wasn’t in the NICU ward but I did have a judgemental nurse- I was reprimanded for not waking my daughter to feed. I was a new mum and after a difficult birth let her sleep. I was almost in tears.

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 15 Apr 2021 , 7:35 am

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  Aw bless ! Nurses can have quite a traditional and rigid view about how things should be done

I’m sure these parents were doing what they could do visit and care for their child. The NICU staff have a duty of care to record their observations even if hurtful to families. Can’t win this one.

Very upsetting for the parents who are doing there best under difficult circumstances. The nurse should have been more understanding and kinder.