I can understand that you’re sad and angry and feel misunderstood by your sister and your mum. I’m glad your sister loves her boys, but she clearly has no experience with raising girls. She shouldn’t have said these things in front of your daughter / your niece and I can understand your daughter is upset. So sad your mum doesn’t acknowledge what happened , with that she fails to create a safe place for her grand daughter and her son.

That’s really horrible. My MIL has 3 boys and often makes similar comments, but I think it’s out of a place of she wishes she had a daughter rather than she believes what she is saying. Maybe have a quiet word with your sister on the side?

Wow, just wow!

Oh my goodness, that’s awful!! I’m a ‘boy mum’ but would love to have had that special relationship with a girl. I can’t imagine that just because she’s got boys, she’ll get out of going to concerts etc and not having to buy merch??? I’ve already been to 3 monster truck events, a few motorbike & car/truck events and have bought merch…

Glad your sister loves her boys, but not ok what she said about girls in front of her niece, she clearly doesn’t no better. Sad that your mum sided with her; she failed to create a safe space for her grand daughter

No you’re not an a**hole when you give your daughter love and understanding. You and your sister may have different views but all children are different and deserve to be treated as a person and not by what gender they are. She may find that her boys will grow up thinking they are better than females and start treating them as worthless. Your Mother should have stayed neutral to both sides. I hope your daughter understands that it’s just one person’s point of view and not yours.

I personally think there is a difference between “every” child no matter the sex. I have three girls and one boy and they are ALL completely different. I think the sister might actually be really sad about not having a girl but trying to deal with it in her own way, having said that she was completely out of line for saying what she did in front of her niece.

The sister should not have said that in front of her niece, that was an inappropriate comment to make. The father could have maybe chosen his words better, but he was right to call her out for her BS.

I think your sister is jealous of the close relationship you have with your daughter as she knows that she will not have the same sort of relationship with her sons. Such a pity your mother sided with her, as it won’t keep your daughter happy to go visit her grandma in the future.

There is a difference (I have both), but it’s not a matter of easier or harder. I think his sister was indeed very rude – and cruel to her niece – and although Dad might’ve been a bit rude too, it was a justified response.

Judging and comparing sexes is absolutely pointless. Children are individuals and gender stereotyping is always ridiculous. It serves no purpose and surely there are better things for families to do and talk about than comparing the sexes.

Anyone who stereotypes what it means to be a ‘girl’ parent or a ‘boy’ parent is in for a nasty shock. Gender identity is rarely that clean cut. For every girl that loves Taylor Swift, there’s a boy who does too. For every boy who loves watching the F1 Grand Prix, there is a girl who one day plans to run the whole event. The sister is probably jealous of the perceived closeness of having a daughter, whilst stereotyping her own sons into the masculine box that she has put them in.

I am a boy mum, and hell no she’s toxic. Raising kids is hard. She was WAY out of line expecially saying that in front of the daughter! Toxic woman.

• • 
  • • Lovesthecuddles replied
    • 31 Mar 2023 , 3:16 pm

  ---

  I agree, saying you feel sorry in front ofthe daughter is not considerate at all. Keep your opinions to yourself

  ---

  • • 
    • • mom93821 replied
      • 01 Apr 2023 , 7:20 am

    ---

    Toxic behaviour is never ok and family should never ever tolerate it.

No your sister is… and you’re mums clueless

I don’t think your wrong. Mum and sister are though. I do feel that the sister does feel a little jealous about your close relationship with your daughter. I feel sorry for when the boys start having girlfriends cause she doesn’t have a good attitude of girls so i pity those girls that date her boys.

Sound like your mum is a big problem also! Does she not care that her granddaughter was upset and shamed for being a girl? She should have said something to her daughter!
I have both boys and girls and they are both difficult in their own ways. They need to check themselves and good on you for sticking up for your daughter against your sister. But next time include your mum in that also!

Making comments like those is all well and good among adults having friendly parenting discussions, but saying it how she did and in front of the daughter is mean, ugly and rude. As her aunt she should be showing her love and appreciation not making her feel inadequate just being herself.

I definitely don’t think you’re in the wrong. Your sister shouldn’t have said what she did in front of her own niece.
I wonder whether she’s secretly envious of you for having a daughter when she had boys
As someone who has a daughter & 2 sons I can’t say either gender is easier or harder, each child is an individual & has their moments.

It is definietly not something to discuss in front of the children. But is having the ‘harder’ role not mean you are doing a better job?

Perhaps she is jealous of you having a daughter and having daddy/daughter time? No need for either party to be rude – each to their own with raising their kids, but don’t need to be mean either.