I am a single mother, my son is now 13. His father proposed and I fell pregnant. He was studying at The Conservatorium of Music at the time and thought his guitar was more important, and at the time I had a secure job, mortgage and was a very independent 37 year old. I didn’t want the prospect of raising a baby and an older baby ( 42 year old ).I drove myself in to the hospital, in what I thought was labour, with him sitting next to me, had a licence and use to drive, but wouldn’t. I was induced the next morning. My son’s father was there for the birth, an emergency c- section, but didn’t really have anything to do with our little boy until he was 2 years old. I decided then, with a fair bit of cajoling from my Mother, that little boys need to know their fathers. No matter what the parents may feel. I swallowed my pride and visited and slowly the two of them started seeing more of each other. Of course once his studies finished he wanted to spend more time. This did assist me as I could work and have someone other than my elderly mother care for my child. I still had to prepare meals and leave at home as my son’s father couldn’t cook. Many times I would come home and my son had only had a drink of flavored milk all day,..no breakfast, no lunch, and I would get home after 3 pm. For a long time my son would tell his dad to Go Away, if I was at home and he just came to visit. He still does if they argue. His dad still comes every weekend to visit. He use to annoy me as being a weekend dad he would buy toys and things that I had said our son couldn’t have. He doesn’t contribute to schooling etc either. My son loves to travel and all the Beany Kids his dad has bought him would pay for a round trip to London ! We often do things as a family, pic-nics or movies, dinners. We have never lived together and never will. But I suppose we are another qwerky type of family. I am a single working parent but my son has his dad visit his home every weekend, he can’t have him stay at his flat. It does irritate me every now and then, but at least when I take our child away he looks after my house and my cat and dog. It takes all kinds but at least they do get to share that bond, and now they play music together too .

Posted by aunty joc, 16th September 2013

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  • The best kind of parents are those that can swallow their own pride to do what’s best for their child.


  • Your son’s dad my annoy you but, your doing the right thing letting him be a part of your son’s life.


  • It all takes time


  • you should be proud of yourself


  • You are an awesome parent!!!


  • Your son is very lucky to have you – a mom who tries very hard to give the best for her son; swallowing pride and putting son’s welfare first. BIG hugs! You are great!


  • The modern family comes in all forms. What you have works well so the three of you are very lucky


  • There’s no normal. Good on you, it can’t have been easy, have had similar issues myself. What’s most important is your son. Thank you for sharing your story & I wish you & your son the best. P.S. I’d be more inclined to,say your ex wouldn’t cook rather than couldn’t. :)


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