Not long ago I felt like this Mum gig was just a thankless job. Things like “they dont appreciate me” “Do they even notice what i do?” Do they even care?” became daily thoughts for me. I was tired, worn out and to be honest sometimes wondered why I had gotten myself into this. One day when i was struggling with limited sleep and everything seemed to be making me cranky something snapped. My son was trying to tell me something and thinking he was going to ask for the same thing he had asked for the last hour for I yelled. Im not proud of it and i cant see myself doing it again. (not the yelling bit but the snapping bit). The look on his face is one i never want to see again. When i realised he hadn’t even got out what he wanted to say i calmed down a little and said calmly what do you want? He looked sad and said in a meek tone, I just wanted to say you make the best banana cake ever. Aww!
Right then and there something changed, I realised this thankless mentality was all in my mind. They might not come out and say it everyday but i know they are thinking it. Its in the comments my daughter makes about me being her best friend, its in the random cuddles and the uncountable smiles everyday. Since then things have become easier. although Im still tired (im not sure when or if that will change) but I see the bright side of things alot more. I love my family more than anything and I hope to never creep into the dark space again. Its not a thankless job you just have to search for the thank you’s a little harder.
Posted by cairnsbliss, 6th May 2013