My daughters boyfriend has a sister that just won’t back off out of his life. Their mum died when they were young and she kind of stepped into the mum role. He’s 23 now and she still insists on knowing how much he earns, his tax return, she wants him to give her money for savings, he can’t buy snything without asking his sister first. She kept his bank keycard until he was 21. She draws up,a budget for him telling him what to spend his money on. If he doesn’t do what’s she wants, she resorts to blackmail. Eg if you don’t see dad, I’ll cut you out of my life. If you don’t park your car at mine, ill ring the insurance company and tell them you aren’t doing what’s stated on the policy. Now my daughter us with him, she’s encouraging him to step up and do things for himself. Thus us causing so much friction with his duster and dad, they are doing and saying the worst things about my daughter. It so unfair

Posted by mom81879, 20th September 2015

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  • That doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship indeed ! I hope he’s able to stand up and break free from his sister and grow into independence


  • Not knowing about her history , it sounds like she may have been psychologically affected by the loss . The only person that can talk to her is of course the boyfriend . Ask him what do you think it will be like if one day she marries him ? Suggest relationship counselling NOW as her BF is not being independent and seems like he is scared of her . My mother used to be very controlling ( only out of fear etc ) when we lived together so I know what it is like . He feels sorry and guilty if he stands up for himself yet he wants to be free. He just needs to know how to be assertive it is important that he separates his money from her as he needs to survive on it . Perhaps go to a relationship counseller for the three of you together and see how you go . Good luck


  • yeah as not knowing the story- i will say that she is very protective but surely after 18/21 years old she would let this guy live his life! he needs to tell her to back off for sure!


  • Sounds very controlling and very manipulative.
    I am glad to hear your daughter is encouraging him to stand up to her.


  • She sounds very controlling. I’m glad your daughter is encouraging him yo stand up for himself


  • I would suggest that he also adds another address on his insurance policy to say it is parked at another adress as well over night at times. It might even reduce his premiums if its in a better area. ( my husband dropped by over $200 when we moved in together in a safer area).
    she thinks he needs to be protected. I would also suggest that also he asks to see his savings account to see that it is a savings account ( he could use the escuse that he wants to put a deposit on a house of his own)and that she is not using it for living expenses etc. She needs to see that he is responsible.


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