So the last few months have been the roughest of my life. My mother, aged only 59, passed away, while we held her hand in the hospital bed. Then, days later, we had another blow that could have seriously affected my marriage had it not been sorted out so quickly… And then – wham, my dad isn’t my dad.

Since then, I’ve spent time in a bubble, teetering towards sharp objects but managing not to pop the bubble. I’ve been numb and distant. I can waste minutes staring off into space, getting lost in my mumbled jungle of thoughts. I sit and watch a movie, but couldn’t tell you the storyline.

Yesterday I woke up and discovered that the kitchen was a mess, despite me asking my husband to clean it up. And I broke. I burst into tears. Such a trivial thing to set me off. But it was like I opened the floodgates. I knew I needed help. I dressed my children and took myself to my doctor. I laid it all bare, told him everything (He already knew some of it from the previous month’s visit). He smiled and said, “You don’t have to feel like this…”

He prescribed me a low dose antidepressent, something to just take the edge of slightly. And knowing I’ve done something? That makes me feel a little better.

Posted by chelseak, 3rd September 2013

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  • Despite all of the overwhelming problems you have had, you sound like a very strong I individual to have recognised the problem and gotten onto it so quickly.


  • rough and tough


  • great to read this story


  • great story to read


  • Don’t be so hard on yourself! Everything you’ve just mentioned is ALL a perfect reason to still be grieving! As a mental health nurse, I hope you’ve had an opportunity to research your antidepressant….. (and for the love of god don’t tell me its valium, xanax or ativan addictive and useless for the long term) and find the one that is best for you :)
    I can also tell you as a mental health clinician, medication is not just the answer, make sure your seeking psychological support, this may just be talking with your husband or a friend, just know that your not alone and everybody at some point goes through something difficult, and you will come out the otherside stronger than ever :) :)
    Good luck xxxx

    • How lovely of you to reply with an indepth comment.


  • im gald you feel better


  • I hope things get better for you

    Thanks for sharing and remember there are heaps of places that offer free counselling


  • Hi sweetie,
    Sorry to hear about your mum.
    I know how you feel. My mum was also 59 when she passed. Two days later my dad had a stroke. I also have two children with Autism. It’s been a long road but it’s amazing how strong one can be. I was also taking a small dose of anti depressants to help. My biggest let down to myself was not talking about it. Good on you for seeing the doctor. It took me many years to do that. I found that seeing the doctor and having sessions with a psychologist was the best thing I did as somehow talking to a stranger about things made it easier for me. That was my turning point. Don’t bottle it up. Talk to family, friends or professionals. It will get easier. I still miss my mum terribly and it’s been 20 years but concentrate on the good times and be thankfull for the wonderful times that you had with her. Chin up and take care of yourself. I wish you all the best. x


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