Who would’ve tought you could fail a questionaire?

Well, I guess the best way to feel like a failure as a mum is to go to the CAFS office and walk out with bubs having failed their 6 months Ages and Stages Questionaire. Sheesh. E isn’t even 6 months yet, and I was warned by my mothers group not to get sucked into going in early as the questionaire is for ages 5 months 0 days to 6 months 30 days, and some of things they expect they only expect 7 months old to do, but in I went anyway, and I felt a bit like a failure. The CAFS nurse didn’t spend any time on the aspects where my child is excelling such as sitting up and getting full marks for problem solving, but focused all her attention on the sections he didn’t do so well in. She impied it is my fault E hasn’t done to well, that I haven’t set him up for success by letting him spend more time in front of a mirror. It was the only section we didn;t do well in. The fact we only have one mirror in our house and it is above our bathroom sink (thereby a safety issue trying to hold him close enough to see if he reaches for the mirror) meant nothing, I was told if I hadn’t been able to test the skill it went down as him not being able to do it.

Then I was given a list of activities which would help his development, one of which (she highlighted it) was spending time in front of a mirror.

I guess we are going to be purchasing a mirror this weekend.

I have to say appointments like this make me glad I go to a mothers group, I would think my child was failing in life if I didn’t have other children to compare him to! So thank you to the mums in my group who have children at the same stage, ahead of or behind Eddie to make me feel like I am not the failure I felt like when I walked out of the CAFS office this morning.

Posted by suegreen83, 18th June 2013

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  • These sorts of things are pretty unrealistic. Don’t feel bad, all bubs do things in their own times and shouldn’t be compared to each other. As long as he is happy and healthy you’re succeeding :)


  • My son had lived in 3 states by 15 months and when we moved to SA, I was made to feel the same. All states are different and my son is one of the ones that doesnt fit in the box.


  • Come on CAFS, live in the real world.


  • When our DD was a baby we took her to the (I have no idea what the name of the place was called) the community nursing thing in our area, anyway she’d get weighed, tested etc..like the rest of the other babies until one day we woke up to ourselves and never went back – we weren’t the only ones.


  • i would worry about what they say . ..


  • When my mum took my brother for his 2 year check he FAILED because the nurse asked him to SAY his name, and he SPELT IT instead! (He has a four letter name). When she told me this story I was like ‘WHAT THE F!!’


  • I stopped going when they told me at DD’s 6 month check: She is under-wieght, and under-tall, not strong enough in arms but too strong in legs and neck…

    all I could think of was what the heck are you mob on about. I now just go to the family Dr and she keeps check on everything when ever we go in. DD walked at 9 months but is still tiny for her age. Every child is different, so no need to feel like a failure, I am sure your bub will reach each milestone in their own time. If it gets too far along and milestones have not been reached, then start worrying :).


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