Hi! My 5 year old just started school a couple of weeks ago and is yet to make a friend . I blocked out most of my childhood cos I hated it and hoped my kids would be so much better. I was shy and never had any friends to hang out with until the end of year 12.

To find out my kid is 3 weeks into school and is shy and terrified of going everyday made me remember how much i hated school. My son hides under the kitchen table and cries every night not wanting to go to bed cos he doesnt wanna have to wake up and go to school the next day. he begs me to go to work with me.

he loves the lady in before and after school care, he loves and talks to everyone in the classroom.. but onces its recess and lunch he is too scared and too shy to play with anyone cos the “big kids’ scare him. so he hides in the shade until recess and lunch is over. its so depressing knowing extacyly what he is going through cos i went through the same thing. everyone we know has encouraged him to make friends.. but its ultimately up to him to stop being shy and scared and step up and talk to other preps who are probably just as scared as him.

sorry guys, just needed to vent.. it upsets me i cant help him anymore than i already have… any tips will be taken into consideration

Posted by fibear, 18th February 2014

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  • maybe if possible, you could volunteer to help at his class or his tuckshop. i n his class, you could show him that you are not scared to talk to the kids and hopefully you can encourage him to do the same. i had to get involved one year, because my daughter was having issues with some girls. when they saw that she had a mum and her mum was nice, they started being nice to my daughter and became friends. I think that they realised that my child wasn’t JUST A GIRL but a person.


  • So dreadful – try to arrange some play dates so he makes friends.


  • My son has just started at a new school this year. he seems to be ok, but still gets upset when he talks about his old friends. however we do make the effort for him to be able catch up with them


  • Oh :( This story makes me sad :( Hope you found your solution…


  • Perhaps the school could introduce you to an older student, a buddy of sorts. All kindies get a year 6 buddy at our school and for the first couple of weeks its their job to ensure they feel comfortable and confident going to the canteen, the playground, finding little play mates and even ensuring they know where the toilets are. My daughter is in year 6 this year and her buddies Mum asked if Ash could wait for her in the morning. It helped with drop off and insured little miss had help negotiating the playground. Also one on one play dates after school may help build up a group he feels comfortable around.


  • That is sad he feels that way, maybe they could have a couple of the older children to come and do buddy reading with him so he is in a safe controlled environment till he builds up the confidence to interact with the BIG kids.


  • Poor little guy. Perhaps you could have more of an in depth talk with him to discover what about the scares him and give him so tips based on his answers. Perhaps his teacher might also have ways of helping him. Possibly a counselor if there is more behind the problem. Maybe you could give him something to take out at lunch for the other kids to come over and look at – like a little puppy, chickens etc. (A way of getting kids to come to him while he confidently explains all about name of the kitty, what it likes to do etc) Also try to get him to think positively about school because this is his experience now. Good Luck.


  • thanks for the tips ladies. I spoke to the teacher and she is helping out every way possible. she sometimes gets other prep kids to take him to playground and play with him. or she buddies him up with kids from other levels to walk him around so he knows there is nothing to be scared of. fingers crossed it works.


  • We’ve just moved and my son is also finding it hard to find a friend. We’ve signed up for local sports teams, I’ve asked his teacher to show him some strategies to approach other children and today I’ve actually organised a playdate for him after school this week. Hopefully it will just take a bit of patience and a whole lot of love from us to make this a vague memory for them. I wish you the best of luck.


  • Maybe talking to his teacher and explain what is going on. They might be able to encourage him to speak to other kids and get the other kids to include him activities during recess and lunch.


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