Heartless - need to vent so apologise in advance!

23 Comments

My daughter and I lost her dad to cancer 3 years ago, this May. He has been missed, especially at those special occasions, for example – Christmas.

My daughter is 7 and she had asked to go and visit her Daddy’s memorial – his ashes are laid at Christmas time. But before we went there, Miss 7 asked if she could buy Daddy a Christmas Gift as well as flowers. So, off to the shopping centre we went. We found some flowers that she liked and it had a pretty purple butterfly – her favourite colour and her Dad’s.

Then we walked to the local spiritual shop where they sold crystals. Miss 7 carefully chose the crystals – one by one. The shop attendant in the store was taken aback when she told him what the crystals were for and gave her a free heart crystal in a beautiful gesture of kindness and compassion.

A lot of the crystals were purple – amethyst. When we got to the Memorial Park, Miss 7 quickly ran to her Dad’s memorial and got to work, carefully laying out the crystals, the butterfly and flowers on his plaque. It was quite beautiful. I helped her with the way she wanted them laid out and insisted I take a photo for her.

In this case, it was lucky that I did. Because last weekend, when we arrived to visit the Memorial, the crystals and the butterfly were gone. There flowers were missing, but I expected that. Miss 7 was beside herself and decided that she had to find them. We looked at the surrounding plaques and memorials, the little creek that runs through the park and extended our search. I convinced Miss 7 that we should go to the Memorial Park Office and ask them about the missing crystals, in case the Gardener/Caretaker had cleaned them away from my partner’s plaque. The lady in the office was quite sad and helpful – she looked in the back where they sometimes put things taken from memorials to return to the family. They were not there and she did say that they were not the kind of things that would be removed from the plaque. The conclusion she came to, as I had already done, was that someone had taken them.

How could someone do such a heartless thing? Remove something so beautiful from a grave… I am hoping that it was a child who saw some bright shiny stones and thought they would take them home with them. The alternative is too distressing. My daughter was shattered but cheered a little when I said we would go back to the shop to get some replacement crystals.

We did go back to the store yesterday. The lady in there was so kind. My little girl just burst out with “my daddy’s crystals are just, totally gone missing!”. Once I explained, she showed Miss 7 where the crystals were. I showed her the picture of the original crystals and she tried to pick similar shaped stones and gave Miss 7 two complimentary crystals. One to keep at home and one for her daddy.

Then she said something beautiful to my little girl. She said, “Maybe your Daddy took the crystals, so that you know he loved and wanted them.” All I could do was say thank you, thank you, thank you. After that, Miss 7 keeps asking if Daddy will like the replacement crystals too.

For every unthinking, heartless person out there, there is a beautiful person to even it out.

Thank you for reading. Truly, I just needed to vent.

Posted by chezj, 25th March 2014

23 Comments

- - coastalkaryn said
  - 04 Oct 2015
    9:38 am
what a dog act – and what a beautiful beautiful woman from the crystal shop! Her words were perfect and a great way to look at life x

- - mom94125 said
  - 19 Jun 2015
    12:30 pm
oh that is beautiful what that lady said. Even though this happened to your family, that lady couldn’t have said anything better! I just don’t know what people get from theiving. I had a storage chest stolen. It had memories from my kids, like things from the hospital. If the person had looked inside, it was not worth stealing. Just memories now

- - mom113055 said
  - 06 May 2015
    2:47 pm
nice exellent

- - mom113055 said
  - 11 Apr 2015
    2:17 pm
nice story to have a read

- - 191joannes said
  - 30 Sep 2014
    10:44 pm
My goodness how low can some people go so happy to hear how loverly the people in the shop where. xx

- - catgrrl3 said
  - 21 May 2014
    3:49 pm
that is disgusting that someone just took them, something on a grave should be sacred

- - chezj said
  - 28 Apr 2014
    11:36 am
Oh Bella – I am so sorry to hear people are taking things from your baby’s grave. How utterly thoughtless and heartless. May peace find you and your family, Bella. xox

- - fruitwood said
  - 27 Apr 2014
    11:38 pm
I am so sorry that your daughter was hurt by someone else’s greed

- - mel1 said
  - 26 Apr 2014
    4:18 pm
Sadly, we have also had the same experience. Who are these thoughtless people that steal from graves??? Honestly, its beyond understanding. I’m glad the lady in the crystal shop was so kind to your little girl.

- - aussiemum said
  - 16 Apr 2014
    8:47 pm
Oh that is a soul destroying and heart warming story wrapped up in one package. I’m so sorry to hear that your poor daughter (and you) was put through even more distress at such a difficult time. I’m so glad that there are good people out there. I too am hoping that a little girl skipping by took the shiny stones and the butterfly because they were pretty and her parents didn’t notice till they got home. The alternative is too sad.
- hopefullyheidi replied
  
  16 Apr 2014 , 10:08 pm
  I agree the alternative is too sad. I’m just going to think of a little girls allure to something bright and shiny and her parents not noticing as well.
- - hopefullyheidi said
  - 10 Apr 2014
    6:40 pm
There is absolutely no need to apologise for venting. You have every right to be angry about someone taking those precious items. I really don’t know how someone could do such a heartless thing. I’m glad that the lady provided such a beautiful explanation for your daughter. It was such a beautiful answer to such a heart wrenching action.

- - mindafaye said
  - 10 Apr 2014
    6:13 pm
Some people just have no respect! There are way too many stories nowadays about grave desecration, or vandalism of War Memorials…it’s appalling!
I’m so glad that the lady at the crystal shop was so understanding and compassionate, especially giving your daughter a crystal to keep at home. Perhaps (if it’s viable), when you go back to your late husbands’ memorial, take along some really strong, all-purpose adhesive, and glue the crystals to it? I know it sounds ugly, but perhaps that *may* prevent further thefts in the future? If not, I echo a previous poster’s suggestion – set up a little memorial in your own garden for your daughter to leave the crystals.

- - BellaB said
  - 10 Apr 2014
    4:54 pm
People steal things from my baby son’s grave too. It makes each visit extra devastating.

- - chezza63 said
  - 05 Apr 2014
    11:01 am
People are so heartless!!! Made my heart break reading your story Cheryl, so sorry you both had to go through this pain.
What a lovely person that saleslady is, and a totally believable reason they were missing, so glad she said it, your daughter hopefully found some comfort in that response.
Thanks for sharing your story ♡

- - chezj said
  - 02 Apr 2014
    12:05 pm
Thank you for all of your lovely comments. It is nice to know that out in the community, there are lovely people out there. Thank you. xox

- - jodie80 said
  - 31 Mar 2014
    10:54 am
maybe have somewhere in your back yard she can go and talk to daddy not a cross but a nice tree or something. put a nice plaque on it and make sure it was one of daddys trees. he liked.

- - kathryn said
  - 27 Mar 2014
    11:14 pm
What a beautiful thing for the shop assistant to say – just lovely. And if you believe in karma like I do if someone took the crystals wrongly (not children who don’t understand) they will bring them very bad luck.

- - vidald79 said
  - 27 Mar 2014
    9:36 pm
Wow your story made me cry. I have visited a lot of graves and have always struggled to comprehend why someone would wreck or steal from a grave. I really hope it was a child that picked up the pretty stones. I’m glad you had compassionate sales people to make it a slightly nicer for your children, Thank goodness you took that photo.

- - lillysmum said
  - 26 Mar 2014
    7:41 pm
Some people are heartless and cruel

- - cinta said
  - 26 Mar 2014
    1:20 pm
There Are Some Horrible People Out There, But Also Some Wonderful People Out There, Terr Shop Girl Is So Lovely And Understanding, I Hope These Crystals Stay Where They Are Supposed To