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In my teens, I was the skinny friend with the great figure. I could wear anything I wanted and looked fabulous. I had great self esteem & confidence. Fast forward 20 years and I am fat, my daughter is embarassed on me & I hate shopping. I cry in the dressing rooms whenever I have to buy new clothes because nothing fits and what does, doesn’t look nice.

I’ve tried to lose weight time & time again. I’ve spent thousands on weight watchers meetings, diet shakes, healthy frozen meals but I’ve not lost the weight.

My GP has done tests and they can’t find anything medically wrong that I can’t lose weight other than medication I take for depression/anxiety.

I prefer to stay home all the time, because I feel that everyone is looking at how fat I am all the time. I avoid grocery shopping because I think people are looking in my trolley to see what junk food I’m buying.

It’s sad, what I’ve become because no matter what I try, I just can’t seem to lose the weight :(


Posted anonymously, 6th June 2014


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  • You may naturally have a slow metabolism. Did your Dr. do a full series of thyroid tests? I know a lady who stuck to a very healthy balanced diet which I might was recommended by 2 different health practictionals. If you are referred to a nutritionalist or dietician make sure they have a Medicare Provider Number. There are some who don’t, they charge a lot and you can’t claim a rebate at all. I was put on a diet as I have a wonky metabolism. It is supposed to be in 3 stages. They guy who started me off told me I was on the diet for life. Luckily I asked for a 2nd opinion as my Cholestoral levels almost doubled in 6 weeks. I was also told eating a ver high protein (low carb) diet can cause kidney and other organ damage.

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  • I am sorry. This must be tough.

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  • My story is a little like yours but I have managed to keep the weight down through the simple process of calories in……calories out and remaining active. I have never been into sport but I don’t like sitting around. I like to get up around 7am, watch the morning news while having Brecky and then fill the day with activity / housework/ gardening etc. I think about my food choices and stay away from fast food and soft drinks….give it a go…..it works and you will feel better all round!

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  • It does not surprise me that you are depressed. I hope that you are taking your medication as directed. You need to make healthy eating choices and walk around the block. Wear whatever clothes you feel comfortable in but just get out there and do it. Then build on it. Better still, do it with a friend. Watch television that makes you laugh. Stop buying junk food. If it is not in your house, and you are less likely to indulge. It is not an easy path that you tread but you can do it. Start by making small goals such as I will not eat junk food today. I will walk around the block this evening. I will not gain any more weight (even if I don’t lose any). Lifeline or a life coach or psychologist may be of use. Your GP can do a mental health assessment for free counselling.

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  • Just wondering if you tried any of the suggestions and if you’ve managed to shift the weight.

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  • I am sorry you are down, but I know how you feel I put on over 30kg with my daughter and not lost any, somehow I thought it would all come out when she did, wrong. I think sometimes we all just try too hard, I am going to just swap a few things in my diet and start walking, but I am not changing my whole lifestyle. I think if you try and take it one step at a time you might just get there, believe in yourself! We are all behind you and know we can do it!!!!

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  • I see a physiologist and she said to me that exercise is the key to so much even if its a 15 minute walk.
    I found by walking for 15-20 minutes a day have now increased this my mood was so much better so i didnt sit there and feel sorry for myself and eat rubbish food because of this.
    I have actually lost nearly 6kg just from walking and stop eating all the junk food that i did and she was right its amazing how a little walk can change your whole mood.
    Give it a go you never know, good luck

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  • Some medications you take for depression/anxiety can affect your basal metabolism – that is you metabolism even when you’re at rest like sleeping. I really feel for you, but tend to agree with the other comment- don’t let a teen who is going through hormonal changes and at the moment immature govern your self worth. I also agree that even if it’s just a few minutes a day try to get outside for a bit. Staying inside in a house without the sun even on dim days is likely to make you more depressed. I find that trying to make new friends and genuinely being the person you are, that most people who you would want to be your friend would accept you for who you are as somebody else said.

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  • I’ve battled with my weight since I was a small child, and I too thought that if I was a “normal” weight, that everything would fall into place and I’d be happy. Didn’t happen that way though, because I lost the weight, but I still didn’t like myself, so I was never going to be happy. I ended up a few years ago having “lap-band” surgery, and it helped with the weight, but I still had to put the effort in and exercise. Even though I’ve got depression, and other ongoing medical problems that really limit any activity, I have to push myself to leave the house for any reason, especially exercise. I don’t know if you’ve considered either hypnotherapy for weight loss, or possible lap-band surgery, but it could be worth mentioning these options to your doctor for further investigation.

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  • Gee, that sounds really tough. I don’t know what to suggest if there’s no medical problem; you sound motivated. Maybe join a gym, get a personal trainer, to up your exercise.

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  • I know that there is more to people than what they look like and if you keep believing that having a happy life or even a happy day depends on you losing weight, you are wasting perfectly good days. I know you are so sad, but, just for a minute stop and think. You are letting your feelings cloud the facts. For example, your daughter is immature at the moment but you are letting her immaturity control you. If you can change just one thought at a time, and choose different true thoughts, you will find you have qualities that people will really love in you if you just give them a chance to get to know you. Go out of the house and be a friend to someone, after they know you, they won’t even think about how you look. Please don’t give up and sit in the house.

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  • I am so sad you feel that way about your self but I was like that I was 5.5 stone when I got married after one child move forward from 19 to 21 and the weight started going on I was now the fat one and at 4ft 10inches in height I stood out but I did not beat myself up but mine was found to be medical step forward to 2009 after a car accident and a wheel chair for 2 years and medication I ballooned even more at the time of the accident I was working and 89.9 kg after the 2 years I was over 100kg got to 12 after this and damage done to me cause me to at first hit 40kg doctor and family panic and now it takes alot as I am not allowed to get under my 47kg…before I was happy went out and di not care what people think now I am slim I will not go into my problems but I can not retain food or drinks my life is not mine any more I don;t go out unless I have to I love very drawn in the face than I have skin just hanging every where off me but I can get some nice clothes but the happy me is gone the me that didn’t care how I look make sure people can not see what needs to be hidden my kids do not like my weight loss and want the old Mum back the fat happy one they and my Grand Children had known my picture you see is now 2 years old and I am alot thinner and drawn in the face my daughter tells me I look sick thin. When we go any where I can not eat or drink while out or before I leave. To visit my Mum tonight in Hospital to try and control what happens to me I have not eaten for 2 days to be able to make the trip and stay for a while. You may have extra weight but please please try and find a happy place and learn to love you for you. My Son would bring his friends over and say this my Mum and she’s fat but I did not care as they loved me any way. My Son freaks out when he visits me like for example I don;t get hi Mum and that chat and love you kiss and bye I get omg Mum you look sick and he searches the internet for ways to fix me and asks what test have they done what are the results what are they doing next than at the end I get Mum I am so worried about you ring me if you need me I love you and kiss and bye than Hubby get messages as to wanting to know when I go to the doctors next ant let him know what happens and comes less to visit as he hates seeing me look like this as it upsets him. A friend whom we have not seen since I was thin came over and he thought I looked great but to my family they are scared that they will loose me before they should and would trade me any day for the old fat Mum the happy out going up for anything Mum. Sorry to go on but I always wished I was thin again but watch what you wish for as they don’t all make you happy please once again first you have to accept you for you and learn to love you and don’t worry about every one else. Being thin is not every thing in the world nor what you need to live your life full and happy

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  • I am so sorry you feel so sad, I have a friend who has just dropped 25kg in a matter of 5 months, she is mainly doing a lot of drinks, I think they are some type of juice from the chemist. She is also swimming, going to the gym and walking everyday as well as a personal trainer 3 times a week. Before she started she was on the list for the stomach staple but I am not sure why she never went through with it, but she is now changing her lifestyle. I would start little by little looking at your diet and how much sugar is in your intake and each day exercise a little bit more each day. I would also check the side effects of your tablet as I too was taking a tablet and it caused me to put on weight, I found myself snacking more in the evenings and I suppose in the day too, I just wasn’t getting that full feeling. I wish you all the best and I do hope that your sadness goes away and things change for the better.

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