I am at home enjoying being with our beautiful baby girl. It took us 2 IVF cycles to have her. We suffered a miscarriage with the first cycle and we had success with her in the second cycle. Due to severe pre-eclampsia, we had her at 27.4 weeks at 1013 grams. I was very unwell. She were in hospital for 80 days. My health has returned to normal however mentally I still can not stop thinking about it. We have 2 other embryos. The thought of using them scares me. The thought of disposing of them upsets me. The thought of donating them to someone else worries me. The thought of donating them to medical science saddens me. Yes, they are just embryos but they are also potential little babies, silbings to our sweet little girl.

Posted by MonicaMaree, 28th March 2013

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  • Maybe you have healed physcially but not emotionally. Maybe talk to your doctor to see if you need counselling. You may well have developed these emotions about being scared to have another baby even if there wasn’t IVF involved. You don’t know they may look like their father, or would that be an issue too?? A neighbour had the same problem with her first baby, but no problems with the 2nd pregnancy. Maybe ask what the risk is of having the same problem again.


  • Don’t be afraid to use them. Just because you didn’t have an easy time the first time doesn’t guarantee it will get hard for subsequent babies. Maybe after a bit more time, you’ll decide to at least try


  • Only you can make the decision to try again.
    Maybe give it some time and enjoy your daughter. I may have to go through IVF.
    My first daughter was born naturally but sadly passed away. I am a bit scared myself and have no idea what to expect.. I know if i need donor eggs im glad that there are people that donate them. I hope i dont end up childless. Scares me soo much.


  • my hubby and i did ivf for 7 years. in the end we had 2 kids naturally . i had 2 eggs left over, we didnt want to have anymore kids as we felt 2 was enough and one of each also. I couldn’t bear to give my eggs away. if i was shopping and saw a little kid that looked like mine it would break my heart knowing someone else has them when there my kid. I felt getting rid of them was heartbreaking because they were possible a little sole. It was the hardest decision i had to make considering my hubby wanted to donate them. I decide to get rid of them . Im not sure if i made the right decision and i may look selfish but i did what i thought i needed 2 . and that was the best decision for me.

    • What a hard decision to make. In the end there is no easy answer.


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