Ok this is what I have dealt with since I was 8 and I’m now 28 and have 3 boys 10, 8 and 6 that have to deal with my mums mental illness she tells stories that happen in her life that aren’t true my father died when I was 2 years old so I can’t ask him if they are true so most of my life I have been confused and have had not much help at all my mum’s family wont talk to her cause she think there not her family she lives on her own she has small arms 3 fingers on 1 hand and 4 on the other I have 1 sister who raised me since I was 8 and now can’t deal with my mum cause my mum thinks she looks to much like my dad and treats her like she is someone else and her nurse keeps ringing me wanting me to go over there to be her career when I can’t I have 3 boys she won’t trust a live in career and I also disabled what should I do?

Posted by crystalbatson22, 5th October 2013

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  • I hope since you wrote this you have been able to find a solution.


  • First you need to get her to a GP then get her to a psychiatrist … To sort then mental issues out all else flows from there


  • Your children only have you to look after them, so they have to come first. Your mother has other people who can help her, so don’t let guilt or pressure from others make you feel like you should do more than you’re capable of. I’m saying that you should cut your mother off, you can still help out occasionally, but not if it’s going to harm your own family dynamics.


  • thats so hard make sure your kids are safe not that she would do anything and try to seek more help for her.


  • so very hard, you have a responsibility to your children first. If you can, help out with your mother in whatever way you can, perhaps when your kids are at school. Maybe socially, have a cuppa and a chat, take her out for a few hours, do some errands, help with paying bills, picking up medicines, taking her to the doctor. Bring the kids to see her. You will know what assistance she needs, and where you may be able to help out given your circumstances.


  • Family always come first. Think of your children and how this will affect them. You might be able to help occasionally?


  • Its time to put your family first, as hard and as mean as it sounds, if by being her carer its going to upset your family dynamics with your kids then you have to put them first ! good luck!


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