Continuously on all the social media you sites you read about how great it is to be a mum…. but what if you can’t be a ‘real’ mum?
That’s my story! My whole life I wanted to be a mum. Do the whole get married, have kids, be settled with the guy I love….but for me, that will never happen. At the age of 30 (I’m 32 now) I was told I can never have kids due to a heart condition I have that I have a high probability of dying in child birth… so my dream of being a mum died that day.
It’s amazing how many people when they hear I can’t have kids want to ‘fix’ the problem for me. Come up with some kind of plan on how they can help me have kids. There is no ‘fix’. I’m only ever going to be a step mum.
My partner has 4 kids to three different women so I get to be a step mum… but sometimes….sometimes I feel like I’ll never have the special bond with him that he has with those other women. I will never have the bond he has to his kids with kids of my own. Some days that really hard to deal with. Some days it’s hard to watch him looking over pictures of his kids when they were babies and reminiscing…. not because I don’t like that he has kids – I love his kids, but because I will never have that. I will never hold a child in my arms that is my child. I’ll never see my child take their first steps, or talk for the first time.
Why is it that we classify ourselves as women on whether we can or can’t have kids? Why are women that can’t have kids looked down at by those who can? Where is it written that you are only truly a women when you are a mum?
Being a step mum – well that’s a whole different story all together!
Posted anonymously, 14th April 2015