During parent teacher interviews we got told off by the teacher because our son is often late. This was when we thought we had two autistic children (before my son was diagnosed). This left me upset because I sometimes wish she could see what we went through in the mornings on the days we DO get there in time.

This morning we got there with 15 minutes to spare (which we need to unload wheelchairs). Yet we still had to contend with:

My son losing concentration and walking around with no shoes and socks on because he forgot what he is doing (this is common). This caused a meltdown because he got told off. Cue 10 minutes of him arguing while we try to move on.

My middle child did not want to wear her jumper as Thursday is jacket day in her personal routine. This meant that there was a screaming and thrashing meltdown for about half an hour while I tried to explain to her why she had to wear her jumper (the jacket was dirty, but it is her routine to wear it but we will get into trouble if she is wearing dirty things). It took me ages to talk her into it (and you cant force her when she doesnt want to) and we had to come to a compromise. She would wear the jumper as long as her trackies didnt have to be put on unless the teacher aid told her.

My youngest then had a meltdown when she found out her best friend (her cousin and our neighbour) was not going to be at school. This was the one child that my daughter can play with and know she is safe. Sure she has other friends (well all the children love her but she only copes with a few of them). Anyhow, this caused a major crying fit. When hubby tried to talk to her nicely and she started screaming because he was touching her. And then screaming because everyone else was talking to her.

This was on top of having to feed and dress three children (two requiring assistance with both due to other disabilities) and the usual fun getting ready to school. We do as much as we can while the children are asleep.

I just wish I could make that teacher understand that today was a GOOD day for us and it was still difficult to make sure we got there on time. So when we are running late it is for a VERY good reason (and generally because I do not want to send my son naked when he is refusing to put on clothes). Three children with autism and each having individual needs, wants, routines etc is not easy. So I actually feel proud of myself when we get to school on time or even five minutes late.

To be told by a teacher we are not trying hard enough really upset me.

Posted by clarebear1983, 22nd August 2013

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  • kool


  • My morning sounds like a stroll in the park compared to yours.


  • I’m sorry that mornings are a tough time for you :( At our school, we really try and enforce students arriving on time because all our administration tasks are done first thing and children arriving late means that our roll books are out and it’s also distracting to other students when people enter the room late. We also give out important messages at the beginning of the day that our students need to know before the day begins and late students miss out on these important details. These tasks happen within the first 10 – 15 minutes of each school day. I’m not saying that being late is your fault, just giving a teachers perspective.


  • You doing a great job for your children as a mum :)


  • Gosh what a morning you have. The teacher really should make allowances. Don’t let them make you feel bad, you are doing an excellent job.


  • I think it’s time to sit the teacher down and fill her in on the obstacles that you face so that she has more realistic expectations. If she still gives you a hard time I would have a word to the principal. It sounds like you have enough to contend with other than copping grief from someone who has no idea what you go through.


  • I’m sorry you haven’t got a more understanding teacher. Your morning routine sounds so hard, I’m sure you do your best, and that’s all anyone can expect of you. I hope everything goes smoothly for you tomorrow morning. I’ll think of you when I’m trying to get my own to school on time.


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