Hello!

16 Comments

I am having issues, my partner of just over two years, is being very unsupportive which is really upsetting. I am trying to organise a business plan, get grants and many other things for him to have the ability to start up his own business, but when it comes to me attempting to firstly study and also in the side start a home business in cakes and cupcakes, he can only be negative. I had a car accident nearly 3 years ago and I’ve had a bad back from it. So he does do a lot of things for me and now his son. So for me to do something with my life is just a huge deal for me as I didn’t think I could ever work fulltime again and was stuck, now setting up something I just love it would be nice to have the support. He belittles my idea’s although I have always had believed in him, tbh I’m using money I will get because of the accident to invest in a business for him and I get treated like shit anyway. He just doesn’t care about me trying to do anything which will finally be my way to make a contribution to our family other than relying on centrelink!! Ahhh! I don’t know what to do, I love him but this is just seeming one step too much! I lack very little support in my life and he used to be the main support, I feel like whenever he doesn’t support something I give up trying as I feel useless and if the person I love doesn’t support me, well what would that make of me? It would just make my life harder and unbearable, I’m considering just giving up in my dream, I don’t know how I could do it without his support, but I feel like maybe I should give up on his as well although his dad would help him so either way I feel like the loser that his whole family makes me out to be and I will never be good enough. So why try, right?!


Posted anonymously, 22nd June 2015


Post your story
  • Sounds like you are in a frustrating position. I don’t have much advice, but good luck on your ventures.

    Reply

  • don’t give up on your dream. it may mean put it on hold for a while but always keep it there as a goal something to aim for. I think perhaps you need to sit down and discuss your feelings before it gets worse and eats away at you. sometimes writing it down can help you to sort it out in your mind what you want to say and helps prioritise what the issues are. It also makes the delivery clearer and focused. If you cannot say it to him then perhaps give your writing to him in a letter form but do praise the help he does give you. good luck and I really hope you manage to sort things out quickly.

    Reply

  • Just a stab in the dark but do you think he could be worried that you won’t need him any more if you suceed? or maybe he is worried you could be more successful than he will be?
    Don’t give up. Centrelink used to have free training courses in managing a small business, perhaps you should check out whether they still do?
    The place whee you are studying may be able to help with finding a cousellor who could give you some support emotionally and may also be able to help with the problems you are facing at home.
    Good on you for getting back up after being knocked down. You can do it, you just need to build a support network even if your partner does not want to be part of it.

    Reply

  • Always follow and chase your dreams and aspirations. Don’t let anybody squash them. Have you spoken to him about how he is making you feel? Maybe he is doing it without realizing the effects? I think a business mentor is also a great idea. They right avenue to take to get the support you need to make your dreams a reality. Good luck!

    Reply

  • Always go after your dreams and never give up, especially not when you are this close. Also maybe he is stressed and has never been able to express it for fear of being made out to be the bad guy which may be why he is snapping and not supporting you now despite being supportive before. I think you need to sit down and talk about your feelings, make sure you make it about your feelings and nothing about him as otherwise he could end up getting defensive (statements like, when you dont support me I feel upset, depressed and useless, I would feel a lot better if you support me like you use to, that made me feel awesome, like I could take on the world) Maybe also seek relationship counselling. And definitely get a business mentor! Good luck and do not give up!

    Reply

  • I would suggest finding a business mentor that can help you with your business idea. A mentor can help you with ideas and support and make you realise your dream.

    Reply

  • first up, go after your dreams. Maybe you will have to do it without his support but do it for yourself. Second, his lack of enthusiasim is a little concerning. I would have an honest chat with him. What are his thoughts? Maybe he is scared or trying to be cautious by holding back his feelings in case it doesn’t work out. You are not a mind reader but you both need to be on the same page to progress. Think about this situation from his point of view. Will you be working so he has to run the house? He might not feel manly. Maybe he is stuck in traditional values and wants to be the breadwinner but you are about to take this role. I don’t know, i don’t want to discourage you at all because you seem to be making soooo much effort but you should talk to him.

    Reply

  • Keep following your dreams and dont give up, Maybe your partner doesnt get how it could work and is scared of things not going to plan. But with all businesses it takes time things dont happen over night. If you dont give it a go you will never know….

    Reply

  • Sorry to hear you are not getting the support you should be in your life. But I can only suggest stick with your dream/goal and aspirations in life, those that deserve you will remain in your life and those that don’t well thank them for the part and move on. I sincerely hope your business and personal life works out for you.

    Reply

  • Have you tried to tell him how you feel? Could you could show him your post?
    Maybe you could get a business Mentor to help and support you.

    Reply

  • Could you find some kind of group to support you – face to face – in your business aspirations? It might help.

    Reply

  • All the best, I hope things turn out for you. I have no advice, just wanted to say I hope things change for you!

    Reply

  • I also think you don’t have to give up your dream. Fight for it. It’s your life! And don’t let him put you down like he does. What’s the meaning of staying together if he doesn’t support you when you most need it? :-( Do something for yourself or I have fear you will regret it one day.

    Reply

  • Dont give up your dream! I think just sit down and try and explain to him how you feel.
    If that doesnt work, even some councelling may help.

    Reply

  • It is unfair when you support and believe in someone and expect that they will give it back. I’m sure it is not easy but have you openly spoken to your husband about how you feel? Either way you need to concentrate on your dream – if he has the support of his dad then focus on you. Good luck :)

    Reply

Post a comment
Like Facebook page

LIKE MoM on Facebook

Please enter your comment below
Would you like to include a photo?
No picture uploaded yet.
Please wait to see your image preview here before hitting the submit button.
Your MoM account


Lost your password?

Enter your email and a password below to post your comment and join MoM:

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just a star rating?

Write A Rating Just A Star Rating
Join