Since reading this article and commenting on it I spoke to her Mum friend who has dogs and what she would do if she was hosting a party with kids who were scared of dogs. She would definitely put her dogs in an area where they were safe from the children who were scared until they felt comfortable enough that the dogs could be brought out into the room. I think this is the right move and this is something that I would do.

As a mum of a now 15 year old who was so terrified of dogs when she was younger we couldn’t even get her to go to a friends place or a park without confirming there wasn’t a dog there (if there was she refused to get out of the car without being carried inside or would just cry and scream) I don’t understand how someone, especially another parent, would put the needs of an animal above that of a child.
No one is asking for the dog to be locked out in the cold or in a box, just another part of the house is fine!
I’ve had many other parents who have been super understanding of my daughter and her fear over the years and have always been appreciative of their dogs not being kept in the same room.
My daughter is 15 now and isn’t keen on dogs still, but can stand to be in the same room and will even pat and cuddle with some dogs as she gets comfortable with them.
My sister was the same too, some kids are just like that for whatever reason.

I have been in a similar position with a 15-year-old golden lab and a friend’s daughter who was terrified of dogs. My friend and I supported her daughter to become less scared of the dog with little times of exposure to this gentle, calm dog – and while the daughter is still not a “dog person” she is now able to be around them.
I have to say I agree with the host. Elderly dogs have specific needs, and in our case is a family member. Just as I wouldn’t shut my elderly parents up for a few hours, I wouldn’t do it to my dog.

I don’t think it’s too much to ask for a dog to be put in another room for a few hours. It’s not like you’re locking it away in a linen closet, give them some toys, food and treats. Maybe keep a tv or music on. Check in on them periodically. I think it’s a bit of a hard line to draw. Maybe your dog will eventually be what can allow other kids to learn that dogs can be gentle and kind.

My eldest 2 kids have birds, in total four of them. The birds are most often caged in the living area and each gets to be out of the cage a couple of hours a day. My youngest doesn’t cope well with noises and when she come home from school overwhelmed with the noise, covering her ears and locking herself in her bedroom crying, then I’m very swift with removing the birds and put them in the bedrooms of my kids (even if they don’t like that).
I think that when you’re organising a playdate, it’s quite normal to consider the guests. That really doesn’t harm the dog in my opinion and you can pamper the dog afterwards.

I can understand both sides.
I think the request from the other mum to lock the dog away given her daughters fear, is totally reasonable. However when the dog owner didn’t want to do so, the other mum shouldn’t have become furious, and starting to accuse her and then bring the disagreement further into the friends group.

Not the asshole it’s the dogs house they should respect what you decide

Kids being frightened of dogs is a huge thing and it is concerning that this mum felt that her dog should not be shut away to allow this child over. My daughter was terrified of dogs at that age too, I think it can be common. For the mum to say no, i would have been shocked too. If this was my dog, I would have been happy to move the dog to another area of the house for the short time that the playdate would have been for, I would have given the dog something to chew or eat to keep him/her occupied.