Tips For Surviving Christmas After A Marriage Separation

If this is your first Christmas post-separation, here are a few tips to ensure the holiday remains festive for you and your family.

Christmas pre-separation – it’s synonymous with excitement, happiness, and probably Santa. Christmas post-separation, brings a whole new category of synonyms. They don’t have to be negative, but without the right planning and discussions, it can end up being a time full of turmoil.

There are multiple avenues to consider when discussing arrangements with your former partner for time with the children on Christmas Day.

Different Scenarios

The most common arrangements are:

A time-sharing arrangement. An example would be the children spend 9:00am on Christmas Eve to 12:00pm on Christmas Day with one parent and 12:00pm on Christmas Day to 5:00pm on Boxing Day with the other parent; or

An alternate year arrangement. An example would be that the children spend the entirety of Christmas Day with one parent in any year ending in an even number and with the other parent in all years ending in an odd number.

Both have their pros and cons. You need to work out what works best for you and for your children.

Things To Think About

Consider:

Do you like to go away over Christmas?
Will either of the above arrangements affect your Christmas traditions?
Do you live close to your former partner? Is travelling for a changeover on Christmas Day practical?
Do your children have daily routines/requirements that can’t be skipped on Christmas Day? Will this affect changeover times?

First and foremost, consider how your children will cope with either of the arrangements.

Consider putting a proposal forward in writing to your former partner setting out exactly how the Christmas period could work and ask for your former partner’s opinion and requested changes on your proposal. Negotiate from there.

If you still can’t reach an agreement or if it is better for you to correspond through a lawyer.

Is this your first Christmas post-separation? Share your comments below.

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26 Comments

- - meedee said
  - 07 Jan 2024
    8:26 pm
Im so thankful that I didnt have to worry about things like this

- - **em2019** said
  - 12 Jan 2021
    4:57 am
Very good tips here.
It definitely can be worked through to make it a positive & happy occasion for everyone, especially the kids

- - snazzy007 said
  - 28 Dec 2020
    5:21 pm
Should cause kids as little stress as possible
- mom207052 replied
  
  13 Feb 2021 , 10:51 am
  Yes, 100% agree. Its about the kids, not about the parents
- - mom62624 said
  - 17 Dec 2020
    2:03 pm
Very helpful advice here.

- - tessie said
  - 16 Dec 2020
    1:20 pm
This would definitely be a hard time for both sides. If both sides are amicable maybe have a get together at the park or the beach and have a Christmas picnic lunch.

- - shanika said
  - 16 Dec 2020
    12:59 pm
Some great tips here. Can pass this to my friend.

- - Ellen said
  - 16 Dec 2020
    9:36 am
These are some good options. My friend and her ex kept a positive relationship and he would come over for Xmas lunch to spend time with all together; of course this is only possible when the relationship is good, but it was great for the kids

- - ashna9 said
  - 15 Dec 2020
    5:47 pm
So much to think about and make decisions on when there is a separation.

- - mom265671 said
  - 14 Dec 2020
    11:24 pm
It’s challenging for sure especially around the holidays

- - anna213795 said
  - 14 Dec 2020
    8:34 pm
Some good ideas here. It’s best to keep a good relationship between you if possible so you can negotiate what’s best for the kids

- - mom343701 said
  - 14 Dec 2020
    8:18 pm
not easy but it can be worked through

- - Zmijka86 said
  - 14 Dec 2020
    7:59 pm
some great advices there. Thank you for sharing

- - BellaB said
  - 14 Dec 2020
    7:58 pm
If you’re on good enough terms, it might be good to arrange some cross over time together – just a hot chocolate and a biscuit, perhaps, but it would be good for the kids.

- - snazzy007 said
  - 14 Dec 2020
    3:09 pm
some good tips to think about , families always have to work out a arrangement

- - nealsq said
  - 13 Nov 2017
    5:49 pm
we have always shared, even when we hate each other, this year is not my year but we swapped last year, we have invited their dad to spend christmas with us because we want my big kids here, sometimes you just have to suck it up

- - mom206279 said
  - 26 Oct 2017
    8:38 am
Drives me up the wall that seperated parents are adults and can’t just suck it up and work out the best arrangement for their children regardless of what they want.

- - Ellen said
  - 26 Oct 2017
    7:39 am
Some good tips.

- - rachel1970 said
  - 26 Oct 2017
    6:44 am
My parents split just a couple of weeks before Christmas, I was 11yo. It was a tough time but I also have many happy memories about that Christmas, the Christmas without much presents and food!

- - BellaB said
  - 26 Oct 2017
    1:10 am
This seems to be harder the younger the kds are.

- - ashna9 said
  - 25 Oct 2017
    8:24 pm
This is a good start to the discussions that need to happen.