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When I speak to dads-to-be, there is still a misconception in modern society that ‘Real Men’ aren’t supposed to be ‘soft’, but times are gently changing and there is a wave of fathers coming through that are prepared to learn how to support their partners during labour, and take a more nurturing role in the family.

Did you know…

Research has shown a father’s touch is just as important for a newborn, and  can not only help with the bonding process, but massaging your newborn is just as equally relaxing for the dad as it helps reduce stress hormone levels through the calming power of touch.

Infants receiving massage, on the other hand, displayed an increase in eye contact, smiling, vocalising and reaching responses.

Once bubs is born, get dad to massage bubs – this a lovely way to nurture a growing relationship. It also offers mum a break, gives dads something to do with their child and to spend quality one to one time together.

As Tim Barrus said, “It takes a tough man to make a tender father”. Tim is a father and child counsellor in Florida, U.S.A. Tim’s article, “Nurturing” offers 6 valuable points for all expectant and new fathers:

 1.  Never underestimate the power of an infant

Bubs doesn’t know that as a male, dad isn’t supposed to relate to them until they are old enough to play footy, their needs are immediate, they need you from the moment they are placed into your arms.

 2. Learn to nurture

Although this sounds silly, make a decision to do it! Be intimately involved in loving and caring for your baby and make the decision before bubs comes.

3. Do lots of touching

Yes, touch for the sake of touching! Go ahead and pick up that baby and hug them purely because it feels good to do so…

 4. You are not going to be a bit player in the mind of your infant

Just as mums are now playing a more important economic role within the family, dads need to assume a more emotional one.

 5. Nurturing is work

It doesn’t matter what the gender is of your bubs, boys need it as much as girls, nurturing can take place at 3am when bubs has a sore tummy, nurturing can be tough, it can strain nerves and relationships. It takes a real man to nurture.

 6. Nurturing doesn’t end with infancy

It’s just the beginning. In the long run it will be worth more than a roomful of the most expensive toys.

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  • My son became a first time dad just over 12 months ago. He’s big and tough but a wonderfully loving and gentle and protective dad. So proud

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  • dads are so important for/ to kids

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  • What a great article to try and get dads more involved with their babies. I hope sone of them pay attention and act

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  • Cool read! Really interesting article! Thanks for sharing this!

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  • i am lucky that my hubby just was good with children. even more so than me…

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  • I love that my hubby helped so much in the beginning, I think thats why him and the girls have such a great bond now!

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  • My hubby comes across as a very hard and sometimes scary man. But to his children he is the biggest push over and softy about.

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  • My husband is very much a man’s man but when it comes to his girls he turns to smoosh, it’s the loveliest thing ever!

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  • What is written is so very true, it is better for Dad’s to be hands on right from go

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  • A very informative article – thanks

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  • Its so great dads are getting more involved with bubs ..sharing is caring..and bub gets the best of both worlds.

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  • Funny but my Dad was a different man with my daughters. Thats when I saw the soft loving side of him and a part of felt sad that he couldnt have been that way with me.

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  • Loved this article, recommend one shows their partner this x

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  • You always find that dont you you think ooh this tough man image and then you find out they are really softies especially with there kids love it

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  • great article!

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  • We have been blessed with an incredible husband/Daddy who isn’t afraid to show his smooshy side when it comes to us! I believe it makes him more of a man that he doesn’t let stereotypes define the way he behaves. Very blessed indeed!

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  • I’m so glad that men are now encouraged to take an active part in their children’s lives, from before birth and onward. Much better than the old-fashioned view that bringing up children was only women’s work. Better for the children, better for the dads, and it eases the burden on all the mums.

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  • Showing this to my husband! ;)

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  • My little ones had daddy wrapped around their fingers instantly


    • that is my son in law – his little girl totally has him wrapped around her little finger :)

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  • Nothing wrong with a man being ‘soft’ with his kids.

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