His mother is 100% in the wrong and it is very sad to me that your husband would back her. It is her that he should be angry with. Unless he changes his attitude you are going to ahve problems for life where he will always back her. Thats not what you want in a marriage

I think a face to face conversation should have happened first before the fake pregnancy test. I also don’t think the pregnancy test trap was a good idea either.

They all sound a bit crazy. Especially sending congratulatory messages before any announcement.

I think they all need to sit down and talk this through otherwise I don’t think the marriage will last. Could they build a granny flat for the MIL and that way she would be independent but close or else put a lock on their bedroom door? Either way they need to sort this out before it gets out of hand and they all say something they’ll later regret.

Without the full story (both sides) it’s hard to comment on this. MIL may have been trying to help with house work whilst she was staying there or she may not get on well with her MIL. Either way, 2 wrongs will never make it right. A mature adult would have had a discussion with her MIL to ask face to face if she’s been going through her things. The only wrong thing the MIL did was telling the family that they were expecting, as this isn’t her place to share this kind of news. I can totally understand why her husband is upset with her. He felt embarrassed that his wife could do such a thing to his mother and initially that she ‘hid’ this from him. Either way, I feel sorry for this family as it doesn’t seem like they all communicate well nor effectively with one another. I pray they can move past this and all build a healthier relationship with one another.

She put it in the bin in her private room that was off limits to her MIL, if she went snooping and found it the jokes on her. And then to tell everyone without it being announced is just wrong anyway. Good luck when they actually do have a baby!

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  • • mom93821 replied
    • 09 Dec 2022 , 7:44 am

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  I agree, honestly, why snoop, it is appalling. Surely there are better things to do in life than snoop!

Snooping is unacceptable for so many reasons and breaks all trust. I loathe snooping and nosey behaviour.

Ooh, a big backfire. Perhaps a different option to catch her out instead.

Probably not the best trap to set but I guess it did prove her point. Not sure its a very healthy living arrangement if there is no trust in the house….

I can see her point and why she did it. Its a tough situation to be in

Oh the drama! Glad to not be in this family’s dilemma but can see it from both POV

Gee it’s nice to think her husband is on her side NOT. How wrong is it for him to dismiss the fact that his mother was snooping around in her personal space. Then blaming her. I would be having a real heart to heart with hubby and thank him for his support. Which there was none. The MIL was completely in the wrong and both hubby and MIL should apologise to her

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 07 Dec 2022 , 8:27 am

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  Yes I agree, very disappointing how hubby chose his mum’s side

It might have been better to set a different kind of trap. Although honestly, MIL is snooping and then takes it on herself to tell everyone, including her son, the news? I’d tell her to find somewhere else to live.

I dont understand why people set traps for this, let alone why you’d use a fake pregnancy test, if you think youre MIL or anyone is snooping, leave a note that says – kindly stay out of my things if you cant just talk to them directly.

Doing it with a pregnancy test is wrong 100% you could have gone about it another way that didn’t involve bringing the thought of a baby into the family…

Sounds like Mummy is precious and will come first. Perhaps now is not the time ti be sharing a hosue with her.

It wasn’t handled the right way but the husband needs to have a few words with his Mum about boundaries if living there.

As someone who struggles with infertility, it’s really hard to listen to someone joke and lie about it. Not many people who don’t suffer themselves don’t realise how hard it can be for others (ALL of my in-laws don’t understand and more pick on us for not giving our child a sibling).
My MIL doesn’t live with us but does walk into my room when nobody is looking, I avoid conflict as much as possible and told my partner he needed to say something and he was also defensive about why she might have gone in there.
Setting a trap is pointless, especially if you aren’t going to let your husband know about it. I understand your intentions but there’s other ways to go about it. Maybe put a lock on your door, set some boundaries and tell her she can’t stay there any longer if she’s going to do it again. It’s not appropriate for anyone to go into your bedroom unless if you’ve asked them too. Even if it is too clean. It’s a big no from me.

She may have wanted to explain her husband first about the trap she was setting for mil, but mil is definitely in the wrong. Time to set some clear boundaries. It may be healthy to have a locked division in the house and make it an official granny flat

I get you don’t want someone I your room but how was she expecting her husband to react being kept out of the loop