Dont combine the two things.
Under no circumstances should you keep him from your daughters life over this. When she is older and can understand she can make those choices for herself. This is about him and your daughter and not about you.
Perhaps talk to him about the child support

Also even when your daughter would decide that she doesn’t want to have contact with her dad at this point, the fact that she knows he reached out to her is very important for her self esteem; yo know that he loves her even though he may have failed her is absolutely important

I think these are two different issues and you should separate these. Who are you to decide that your daughter should not have contact with her dad ? What are your daughters own wishes and desires ? Blocking your ex to have contact with your daughter could have a rather harmful impact on the development of her personality. When she is older and realizes that you didn’t allow him could backfire in your own relationship with her

Please take the monetary issue up with the courts if you cannot talk to your daughter’s father in person. It would be nice to know how old your daughter is because at the end of the day, he is her dad, and she may wish to see him and be part of his life. Don’t hurt your daughter as you might live to regret it.

The financial thing is an issue between the two adults. The child should not be used as a pawn. No matter what, he is the father and entitled to a relationship with his daughter and your daughter is entitled to know her Dad. The more people in a child’s live that love them is what matters.

I don’t think it’s wrong.
Don’t do him any favours.
No pay, no see! Simple.

I agree with the comments here. Work out the financial arrangements with your ex either in person or in court, but don’t damage your child’s relationship with their parent if there are no other problems.

It is very important to ensure financial obligations and contact arrangements are all set out in clear detail, and all parents are responsible for the financial support and the emotional wellbeing of a child. Parents need to have the best interests of their child and children at the centre of everything they do.

I don’t think it is right to stop the father from seeing his child, this issue is between you and him. Seek legal advice and see what your options are there. Being the bigger person in the long run is important because your child will learn when they are older what you did for them and how terrible it was that their father didn’t support financially.

I’ve already said that you need to talk to your ex first to find out if there’s a reason he’s so behind. But you also need to talk to your daughter. How will she feel if she sees her father less or not at all? Does she value the time she spends with him?

I totally understand why you are frustrated and it is very unfair but in the end your child needs to come first. You don’t have the right to stop her from having a relationship with her father and she may end up resenting you for it if you try. As frustrating as it is you need to be the bigger person in this case.

I think you need to take it to court to address the money he owes in child support. What I don’t understand is that child support is done through the courts so why aren’t they chasing it up? I wouldn’t stop him from visiting her but I would block him off the IPad so he has to turn up in person. Find out what your daughter wants too. She may want to see him so let that happen and don’t turn your child against her father even though he sounds like a deadbeat. I was told by my aunties that my father left because he wanted a son. I finally decided to meet him on my 50th only to find out that he left because the army moved him for certain reasons. He wasn’t allowed back for 2 years so when I tracked him down I found out he’d been trying to find my Mum and me since he got back. That destroyed the relationship I had with my family and made me the insecure person I am today. Don’t do this to yourself or your daughter

The most important thing is for the child to never ever be in the middle of an unpleasant situation. Relationships with children should never ever be weaponised. Good relationships with parents is different from financial issues and this can be addressed via the courts and having a formal agreement in place.

I’d like to hear both sides fully before deciding what’s what. Without knowing all the details I hate picking sides and I stand by that always when I hear of these situations. To know who is in the right you must have all information, not just from one side. Too often I see these situations with children and arguments about child support etc., it’s tough and best for outsides to stay out of it.

I can see both sides of this case. I do worry if the Father doesn’t see his child that he may lose interest altogether. Then when the child grows up they will have to go looking for them and ask him questions as to why he abandoned them. Sad either way.

This is hard. I can understand where the mum is coming from. She is wanting to get the father’s attention and I believe she doesn’t really intend to withhold visitation or stop her daughter having a relationship with him. I think she is using his love for his daughter to try to make him wake up and pay what he is responsible for. That being said, we don’t know the full particulars of how much he earns and how much she earns. She’s already admitted that they are getting by comfortably, so perhaps it is a bit mean spirited if he actually is on a low income. Things to consider.
It definitely isn’t right for her to indefinitely block him from contact.

It’s a very selfish way to look at things prioritising money that you say you have enough of over your daughter growing up being alienated from her farther over money. Yes it’s not great that he owes you that money but be the bigger person and start a family court mediation session and progress if needed. We have full custody of my step
Kids and have for the last 7 years and my husband has never received a cent from his ex even after family court but he still lets her see them when she asks (she lives interstate and we have driven them 4 hours to see her with no ask for money) because in the thick of it all
She is still there mother. He is owed upwards of $30,000 and we just barely get buy but there is no point arguing it and making the kids feel stuck in the middle. So we don’t bring it up anymore.

I’m with the mother on this situation. If he’s not paying anything and only speaks to hi daughter via iPad and only has a visit for the day I can’t see the problem. Why should he enjoy the benefit of seeing his child when he doesn’t care enough to pay for her? If this mother was in financial stress and he didn’t pay I think most people would be on her side. Depending on how old the child is, next time she sees him she could ask him why he won’t pay for her upbringing! My daughter is going through much the same but is financially struggling and I don’t see why his father who has only rung him 3 times in 4yrs should have the benefit of talking to my grandson when he’s not paid one cent in 7yrs and has been very inconsistent. So this mother is doing the right thing. Whoever called her an a..hole has no idea of how hard it is. They think they’re getting back at their exes by not paying but they’re denying their child!!

You are only hurting your daughter. Go and get a court order to make him pay. Dont use your child as a bargaining chip as she will grow up hating both of you. Divorce is terribly traumatic for everyone involved. Perhaps talking to your ex might solve this problem as he might be having financial problems and is embarassed to tell you because he wants to be seen as a winner and not a financial loser.

Your not hurting your ex but your hurting your child from seeing their dad