Mum Shares Brutally Raw Post on Dealing With PND

Opening up about struggling with postpartum depression is one of the most difficult things a mum can do. It’s also one of the bravest. As this mum soon discovered.

Blogger Tiffany Jenkins recently opened up about her own struggle with PND and she didn’t hold anything back about the bleakest days of her life.

“I did not like my children when this photo was taken”, began Tiffany on her Facebook page Juggling The Jenkins Blog.

“I actually resented them for existing.

“Kaiden was 17 months old and Chloe 1 month, and I didn’t want to be their mother, I didn’t want to change their diapers, feed them, and most of the time – I wanted to leave them in their cribs and run out the door, never to return.

“I’m serious.

“I know that some of your jaws are hanging open, and some of you are probably disgusted thinking, “how the hell can someone dislike their own children?”. I know, its effed up, which is why it took me so long to tell anybody about it.

“I remained silent and buried my thoughts. I smiled for photos and mustered false admiration when someone would fawn over them.

“I cried often, most of the day actually. I questioned my sanity and constantly berated myself for being such a shitty person. I screamed, I hid, I let them cry and pulled my hair out. I didn’t want them anymore. I didn’t want them.

“My husband didnt know. He was gone alot, working. I couldnt tell him, he’d regret having children with me. I was alone.

“One day I decided I wasnt going to get them out of their cribs. I was going to leave them there, let them cry and soil themselves. I didnt care. I couldnt care. I tried to care. I COULDNT care.

“Instead I called my doctors office. The moment my favorite receptionist answered I broke down in tears. I told her I didnt want to be a mom anymore and she told me to “Come in IMMEDIATELY”. I did. The doctor spoke to me about Post- Partum Depression as if he’d had this conversation thousands of times.

“Turns out he had. Turns out I was one of MILLIONS of women experiencing those feelings at that exact moment. I wasn’t crazy. Something was wrong with my brain. Something I couldn’t fix alone.

“My doctor and I fixed it together.

“My kids are 2 & 3 now, and I love and adore them so much that my heart physically aches when I think of them. I would give my life for them without blinking.

“Reaching out for help was the greatest gift I have ever given them as a mother.”

If any of this sounds familiar to you, I just wanted you to know — you aren’t alone. You aren’t crazy — and you need to tell someone.

Tiffany’s post has attracted over 22,500 shares and 70,000 reactions. People are thanking her for sharing her story and making them feel less alone.

If you or someone you know is struggling with postpartum depression, contact PANDA on 1300 726 306.

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18 Comments

- - mom297125 said
  - 10 Aug 2018
    8:42 pm
Shes a brave woman. Hard to admit to depression

- - mom74005 said
  - 18 Jul 2018
    5:46 pm
I’m glad this Mum has shared her story, it can be a massive struggle especially with so many internet trolls and opinionators out there, to open yourself to a more publically vulnerable state is pure fearless.

- - mom111059 said
  - 30 Jun 2018
    11:42 pm
It takes a brave person to admit depression, especially with babies. Take care.

- - Staceylee101 said
  - 19 Jun 2018
    3:35 pm
Thank you for sharing, was a good insightful read.

- - Amanda Holland said
  - 19 Jun 2018
    8:56 am
Well done mumma for opening up

- - Ellen said
  - 19 Jun 2018
    7:41 am
The title of this article makes me wonder WHY OH WHY it is that opening up about struggling with postpartum depression is one of the most difficult and bravest things a mum can do. There is such a huge taboo about things things. We can only change this by sharing, so that more and more people know it’s not abnormal and they’re not alone. Mental health is just as important as physical health, if not more important if you ask me.
- mom93821 replied
  
  20 Jun 2018 , 5:42 am
  Mental health is so important and the taboo really should not exist anymore. I agree with sharing and caring for each other.
- - mom93821 said
  - 19 Jun 2018
    5:37 am
Thanks for sharing the links in this story – may help some mums that need it.

- - youngoldlady said
  - 18 Jun 2018
    10:12 pm
Thank you for sharing, this is hard to admit and seek help for.

- - mom114371 said
  - 18 Jun 2018
    8:58 pm
I can also say I’ve had many moments in the early days when I have not liked my baby and wanted to take her back to the hospital! These invasive thoughts have made me feel like a bad mother and isn’t something I’ve always felt I can share with my partner. But I always got through by remembering that they are just moments and tomorrow is a new day! Thank you for sharing such an honest article.
- Ellen replied
  
  30 Jul 2018 , 3:42 am
  You’re not a bad mother for having these feelings ! Thanks for sharing.
- - ashna9 said
  - 18 Jun 2018
    8:51 pm
Thank you for sharing such an honest version.

- - mom111059 said
  - 18 Jun 2018
    8:47 pm
She’s not alone in this. Many women (and men) suffer.

- - mom206279 said
  - 18 Jun 2018
    4:43 pm
Sounds like she had a brilliant medical team!

- - mom265671 said
  - 18 Jun 2018
    3:55 pm
such a raw and had thing to admit, especially as a mum going through it. well done to her seeking help. mental health is a real thing and more people need to speak out to stop the taboo of the topic!

- - mom160421 said
  - 18 Jun 2018
    2:00 pm
Certainly talking about PND breaks down the stigma and that can only help those who are suffering.

- - becstalou said
  - 18 Jun 2018
    1:32 pm
Good on her for speaking out. So brave and if it helps one Mum that’s huge.

- - mom81879 said
  - 18 Jun 2018
    1:08 pm
PND is something I thankfully have never experienced. I think it’s important that sufferers do speak up so other mums don’t feel like they need to keep quiet about it