It sounds to me that you have done a great job rearing your daughter as she is willing to tell you who she wants to meet in the park. I think that if you and the young man’s mum talk to each other as she has suggested then that is a great way to start a relationship and none of it has been behind your back as so many clandestine meetings start. Good job.

Just make sure it’s a park that’s close to your home and give her a certain time to be home. Tell her that when she’s comfortable, bring him around to watch television or play video games. The only stipulation will be if it’s in her room the door must be left open. If you have raised her right, she’ll understand.

You are the parent. It is your duty to make the moral and safe call.

I think you have done the right thing. I also understand you want to give freedom but how to do safely is the big question?
Simple answer they are never 100% safely but we can give them ideas to keep them safer. Like don’t meet in a park as might not be allot of people around but meet at a shopping centre where if she feels scared at any point. Can ask for help by many people or security staff.
This gives her the freedom to feel independent with you making sure she is safe.
Just make one rule they don’t leave the centre and if she does and you find out, she won’t be able to go out again alone. She will do what you say if she like her freedom so to speak.
I also got sat down by my mother and explained it was not that she did not trust me but she couldn’t trust other people. There is always a was of giving space but a safer version.
Telling them to go to movies not great, but bowling great idea.
Don’t sugar coat things tell her what the world is like. So she can see the bad coming.
I was told not to get in cars with friends as they just don’t always want to just talk. Try never put yourself in bad situations so less bad can happen to you.
Hope this helps. All the best

Quite sensible to ask for the boy to come over to your place first and meet him and get to know his parents. They could always hang out at your place.

I agree with others and think it’s best to have the boy come to your house and spend time there. I wouldn’t let my daughter go to the park to meet a boy I didn’t know especially. She’s 13 but I still don’t like her hanging around the park at her age.

Wow. Im not ready for this with my girls!! Good on you for allowing her some freedom, so important at that age for them. I agree, perhaps start with supervised visit at home, obviously from a distance so they can have their space. And go from there

Hanging out at your place, supervised from a distance, sounds the best advice I’ve read so far. It sounds like it’s also time to have some frank conversations. She needs to know what should and shouldn’t be happening in friendships at this age. I knew a girl who was raped by several boys when she was 8 years old. She had no idea about sex, consent, the legality of sex before 16, or anything else surrounding her virginity. She just wanted to hang out with some kids who ended up betraying her.

11, in yr 7, wanting to meet up with a boy..! Such a different generation now.. Too grown up too soon.. Good luck!

I would personally have a good chat with the daughter, explain the concerns but also be open minded. I would suggest the boy come over after school one day to meet him and go on from there. When my daughter was in year 7 she had more male friends than female friends and she was happy for me to meet them. They looked out for her and were protective of her which was great.

I’d explain your worries to her and that you’d like to meet the boy so you know just who she is hanging out with. A big discussion about trust.

Honestly I think meet the boy first. You know your daughter but you’re worried you don’t know him then ask her to invite him over. Let them watch a movie or something. Give them their space but it’s still a safe space. Shes growing up but takes a little of the worry out of it.

It’s tricky as you don’t want her to rebel either. Explain the situation to her and see if she understands

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 03 Nov 2024 , 8:52 am

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  Exactly ! When we hold our kids too thight on a leash, they may start to become dishonest and do things behind your back. The most important thing is to have a welcoming open communication with your child build on trust. The moment your child comes to you with the question, is a very good moment to show your appreciation that she/he is discussing things with you. And we as adult also should try to stand in our childs shoe.

I think it’s fair to want to know who she’s with – 11 is still quite young. I think you’re doing a good job of giving her more freedom, but in a measured way.

I think it all depends on 1) what type of child is she ? is she a responsible child ? does she have a well developed danger and stranger awareness ? 2)do you have a good and open communication with your child ? 3) will she take a “no” well or would it negatively impact your relationship 4) what type of park is it ? some parks are more sfae then other parks 5) when you don’t feel happy about the park, would you consider a different location ?

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 02 Nov 2024 , 6:26 pm

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  One thing I found helpful is to make sure our children feel comfortable inviting friends home, and give them plenty of space when they do.
  Another one I found important is to open about yourself, it can for example be helpful to share your own friendship history. If you had friendship difficulties, it can help your child feel that you understand what they’re going through. Finally, you can be a role model for forming and maintaining positive relationships – with your own friends, partner and colleagues.

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    • • mom93821 replied
      • 03 Nov 2024 , 6:22 am

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    Some wise words in your comments; a very good point about the type of park and proximity to home is also very important. Making sure home is an inviting and open place for friends is absolutely critical for children. They do indeed need safe places to meet and giving space to children is important.

Parents meeting friends is always important and shows that parents are interested. There is nothing wrong with parents meeting friends and always follow your instincts about meeting new friends. The teenage years can indeed be tricky and it is always about finding the right balance. It is important to be guided by your gut and instinct.

Trust your instincts. High school is such a scary age for not only your child but for you as a parent.

Ugh this is so tricky. On one hand I understand the mums concern and would feel the same, not wanting to allow her to go. On the other, I remember being that age and hanging with your crush or boyfriend and would just awkwardly talk and hold hands. I know some kids are a bit more advanced at that age… It’s hard to call. I think you’d have to know your child and what you think they might do. Hopefully others have specific advice so I can come back in 10 years time for guidance haha

My daughter hasn’t reached this age so I haven’t been through this yet but could you perhaps ask if you could meet the boy first. I am not sure I would like my daughter going to the park when I haven’t met the friends before or don’t really know who will be there.