Completely unfair to go back on such an important life goal you shared together. I wouldn’t stay married to this person. Having a child is something our hearts often long for deeply, innately and I can’t imagine going without merely because discrepancy in relationship goals. I’d move on to a consenting would be father for my future kids.

YOur husband has put you in a really unfair position. I would say leave him, but there is no guarantee you will find someone else who wants to have kids, especially in a short timeframe. I guess you have to weigh up whether other things in your relationship make it worth staying.

If he’s lied to you about wanting to have children all this time, what else has he been lying about? If you are going to have children you definitely need to start now for your own piece of mind. It’s devastating when you find out you can’t have children, but for him to say he did want them then pushing back the time line then finally telling someone else he doesn’t want them, makes me suspicious.

Definitely not fair on you especially when women have a ticking age clock to consider too. Perhaps it might be worth sitting down together and really talk about both your needs and where you both stand because you both need to want it, otherwise consider your options and if its something you can live without

This is really cruel. And unfortunately I do think her choice is start trying now or break up with him. But if she breaks up with him, is she up for single parenting? Because there’s no guarantee she’d meet someone else, especially with a “deadline”.

What a terrible position to be in and what an awful way to find out that he hasn’t wanted children at all for all this time. However, maybe you need to think seriously about what you want children for. So many mothers say it is the final cementing of the relationship they have with their partner to bring a new baby into the world. Many others have fallen pregnant while not really trying to do so. You appear to have had a very happy lifetime together for the past 8 years, so do you really want to give this up. There is no definite way to be sure you would have a child even if you start desperately trying now – in fact the desperation could well stop you from conceiving. There is a lot to think about and only you know in your heart of hearts what you really want. I would hate to think you have been with your partner for the past 8 years just so you could become pregnant – not a good platform for a marriage to succeed. Good luck.

Oh this is such a heartbreaking situation. It sounds as if the husband has not been honest about wanting children and is just putting it off until it is too late and appearing not be his fault then. The wife needs to find out the truth. Such a sad situation for her. My heart goes out to her.

Life is just too short to live by another person’s desires. And wishes. Unless of course you love this man enough to sacrifice that part of yourself. Unless he too is questioning himself and also considering making sacrifices for your happiness.. I doubt this avenue is your best bet. I’d sincerely suggest speaking to a doctor about planning a pregnancy, and if it’s your chosen path, take it even if he doesn’t follow you. I managed to have just one baby girl at age 28 before I was diagnosed with chronic illness that will prevent me having more children. Whilst I’ll always wonder what more would be like, I’m so beyond grateful for blessing of my daughter to me. Don’t miss that train honey!

Along with counselling for a couple it can help to get individual counselling and support and to focus on individual needs and life plans. Couples can then come back together as a united partnership with clear focus about what they want and where they are going with both individual and combined life plans.

I feel for you because you have been extremely patient. You need to speak with your husband and work out what it is you each want. If you both want children, make a plan, no more delays. If he does not want children, you will need to decide whether you want the marriage more than you want children.

That is so very sad and disappointing. I can only imagine how you feel. All you can do is talk it out with him and discuss how you both feel, how long he has felt this way. . Find out what he is concerned about. Is he worried about something in particular. Good luck.

It seems that right from the start he has not been honset with you.
Its hard because if you end the relationship with a view of finding a man who wants children then how long could that take?
Can you afford to check our IVF and do it alone?
Good luck

I think you need to have some serious heart to hearts and maybe some counselling. I don’t think you should break up with your husband over this as it sounds like other than the children issue, you have a beautiful relationship. You need to find a way to work through this problem. I think it is unfair of him to change his mind so drastically and you have been patient. I do think that if you mean as much to him as he does to you, he should be able to see how this is one of your greatest dreams and you need to start now.

Aw bless, this must be very hard and I understand that you are hurting. Personally I would sit down with my husband and have an open and honest conversation about your desires and feelings and how this matter evolved over the years. Probably I would wonder as well if he was actually doubtful from the beginning. It’s hard to say would she should do in this situation, saty with him or move on. I would probably consider relationship counseling.

I also feel for you. I think counselling is a great option where you can both air your mind, in a safe way and place. Maybe you can just talk together but in my experience when feelings are running high ‘rules of communication’ are broken and you can end up hurting each other, feeling worse, with nothing resolved. In terms of managing your own immediate feelings I would be brainstorming all the other possible worlds (from not ever being able to conceive like so many, to having life changing complications in birth) and trying to make the world I’m in feel okay (just to sleep I mean!)… I wonder how he would feel about a plan where he gets you pregnant, and you just separate for a time to see how you feel. so he had nothing to do with the kids, no responsibility, all the freedom and money he wanted etc. (Not the best start for you or the kid but plenty have done it worse) As a thought experiment maybe he would come round to seeing how empty and lonely his life would be, how important a kid is to you, and / or work out what it is that is putting him off. Perhaps there is some way that you can allievate his concerns.

I feel for you, 8 years of being strung along hoping for the right time to conceive. Bringing children into the world is a privilege and a very big responsibility. You are ready to be a Mum and yes time is running out and that is so important to use your time wisely. Talk to him again and let him know that you have done everything he has asked and now it’s time you had a decision for yourself. I know a few ladies who missed the boat of being Mum’s and have lived their lives wishing that they did have children and they didn’t. Both ladies say it’s because they listened to their husband, they feel like this was the plan for him all along. They (these ladies are in their 80’s and 90’s now) both are widowed and alone. Take charge of your future and make some real decisions on your needs and life goals and if that means children and he doesn’t want to be part of that then it’s time to move on without him. He may come around when their is a bundle of joy and a different way of life including children. More questions need to be asked of him and you need to get answers so you can make your mind up as to where you want to be in this marriage.

It is so essential from the beginning of a relationship to be honest and open and to communicate will full transparency. When this dynamic changes and this does not occur it is crucial to address it and maybe even seek counselling, It may help to have a mediator in this situation to navigate through these issues. It would be heartbreaking to have the ‘goal posts’ moved again and again.

I would absolutely leave and fund myself to have a sperm donor to have a child. Your husband’s selfish for stringing you along for all these years. he has coerced you In to marriage under false pretences and it’s absolutely wrong and I would not be waist if any more time.

At 37 you are now in the danger zone that any children might not be quite right .In my family we have some late mums that are 35 plus and unfortunately this has not gone well with the children .1 death and 1 handicapped has resulted in split parents broken dreams and much suffering for the parents and remaining child. A daily nightmare. For me be grateful for what you have and move on. You may have to pay to bigger price if you go your own way.

I think you need to sit down with your husband and tell him exactly how you feel. Personally I think he’s being very unfair. It’s obviously something that’s very important to you and if he really doesn’t want kids now you’ll end up resenting him if you stay together. You may need to do this alone.