'My MIL Tried To Force Her Way Into The Delivery Room'

A new mum is still recovering from the traumatic delivery of her first baby, caused by her mother-in-law trying to barge her way into the birth.

The 29-year-old new mum says she’s still in shock after giving birth without her husband, J, by her side, after she kicked him out of the delivery suite for siding with his mother.

She explained that the situation had been brewing for the past few weeks, and came to a head when she went into labour.

“A few weeks ago i was invited to dinner at my mother-in-law’s home,” she explained on reddit. “She told me she had something important to discuss and I knew exactly what was coming.

“When I sat down she held my hand and said,’Me and J have talked and we think it would be best if I replaced your mother in the delivered room’. I said I’m sorry but my mother has already been invited and I’m not comfortable not having her there.

“She started squeezing my hand tighter saying that it’s not just up to me. Side note my MIL has never been the nicest to me. She would always make snide remarks about my weight and skin colour. I said no again and said it is my choice as I am giving birth.

“The subject was then dropped but when we got home my husband blew up at me saying he has just as much a decision as me in this. I disagreed, it will be me giving birth and I need my mother there. He said fine and we both forgot about it.

“Yesterday I went into labour. First I called my husband as he was staying at his mother’s at the time. Then after about an hour I called my mother. She was shocked to hear from me and told me my husband said I didn’t want her there.

“I told her I do want her there and she came straight away. My husband got to the hospital about 20 minutes after my mother and when he got there he had brought my MIL. I completely lost it. I started yelling at him and scolding him for telling my mother not to come then he started shouting at me for not letting him bring his mother.

“After he has shouted at me for about 5 more minutes I told him to leave. I said I didn’t want to see him or his mother ever again. I’m still not sure if I meant what I said or not. Because of the stress put on my body the birth became more dangerous but my mother as here for me the whole way.”

The woman now wants to know whether she was the one in the wrong in the situation.

Let us know what you think in the comments below.

49 Comments

- - meedee said
  - 26 Sep 2024
    11:30 am
I am always stunned by these situations and do wonder if you are still together. To me its such a bad sign firstly when a man sides with his Mother over you and secondly that its something that a couple would argue over. I love how he said he had as much right as you to make the decission…. oh no you dont buddy.

- - mom461384 said
  - 10 Nov 2022
    12:53 pm
I’m sorry for your terrible situation. Most womer need their mother by their side during the situation. You are not in the wrong as far as I’m aware.

- - ashna9 said
  - 09 Sep 2022
    7:54 pm
Sounds terrible and not like the in laws or husband you want or need.

- - Zmijka86 said
  - 27 Aug 2022
    8:18 am
There is no way I would allow anyone except my husband.

- - tessie said
  - 19 Jul 2022
    10:42 am
If your husband told your Mother she wasn’t wanted there that should have also included his Mother. Sounds to me like he is really a Muma’s boy and you did the right thing in telling them to leave. My priorities for having people at the birth would have been in order of Doctor, husband, Mother and then if you and she get along really well the MIL. Why the hell did he think his Mother should be there instead of yours?

- - mom101628 said
  - 14 Jul 2022
    11:54 pm
Personally I’m all for going it alone with just the doctor. I don’t want to have to second guess what everyone might be thinking while they are there and trying to keep the peace. Do it the way you want to.

- - Mad Bean said
  - 14 Jul 2022
    5:08 pm
You were totally in the right. Giving birth is scary enough and can make you feel so exposed. You need surrounded by ones that support and make you feel safe.

- - mom265671 said
  - 12 Jul 2022
    9:07 pm
wow. definitely 100% your choice, your body, your birth. you didnt do anything wrong.

- - Lividanke said
  - 12 Jul 2022
    11:02 am
Personally I don’t think for a second that you’re in the wrong. There’s no way I’d feel comfortable having my MIL there while I was giving birth. It’s your body and there’s a reason you’re told to leave your diginity at the door. The MIL sounds like a nightmare and the husband needs to step up and be there for his wife, not letting his mum pull the strings and make the decisions.
What the husband did telling the woman’s mum that she didn’t want her there is absolutely not on.
I hope they’ve managed to work things out for the sake of the child,.

- - rovermum said
  - 11 Jul 2022
    1:30 pm
What an absolute joke and nightmare. The MIL sounds like she’s from hell. I had one of those. Had because I have nothing to do with her anymore. Or my in-laws. My hubby finally realised. This will just be the start with her and things will only escalate. Good on you. The top priority should have been for you to delivery a healthy baby and for you to be healthy after it. You did the right thing.

- - mom468034 said
  - 11 Jul 2022
    10:36 am
Not in the wrong at all. You are the one giving birth, your get priority. Also very sneaky of hubby to go behind your back and lie to your mum. Big breach of trust. Surely with covid I wouldnt have thought more than one birthing partner could be there anyway? First birth , of course you want your mum there. Very selfish of the hubby and MIL to think otherwise.

- - mom160270 said
  - 10 Jul 2022
    11:40 pm
My SIL accidently walked in on me in the delivery room 😀
- Ellen replied
  
  11 Jul 2022 , 7:39 am
  Was it truly accidentally mom160270 ??
- - alyise_ said
  - 10 Jul 2022
    8:58 pm
Yeah this is tough I really hope they worked it out

- - mom485263 said
  - 10 Jul 2022
    4:22 pm
I don’t think she was in the wrong. I think the MIL is pulling strings in the background. and made her son say/do things to get her own way.

- - natct said
  - 10 Jul 2022
    9:32 am
How little respect he has for her is terrible. I hope they work through it for the child’s sake. I would have thrown him and his mother out too.

- - mom93624 said
  - 10 Jul 2022
    9:28 am
This was so wrong it is your body on display so it’s your choice

- - gr82do said
  - 10 Jul 2022
    9:25 am
I’d have been upset too but I wonder if this is a cultural thing. My husband and I come from background where once married you leave your parents and become a new family, making your own decisions. Obviously we still love our parents but our family decision are our own. Your family sounds different and he may always think he is BOSS and his mum is more important than you are. If so you will need to work around that or get out.

- - mom93821 said
  - 10 Jul 2022
    5:50 am
A woman’s body is her own and giving birth is an experience where a woman needs support. A woman’s choice should be respected and her choices being ignored is appalling. No woman should have to endure any extra stress at such a significant time.

- - ~Loui~ said
  - 10 Jul 2022
    12:48 am
These people are so strange., It’s going to be difficult parenting together when he has so little respect for her needs and wishes. What a horrible situation.
- Ellen replied
  
  11 Jul 2022 , 4:16 am
  Yes I think so too, I think there is a serious relational problem here
  - mom93821 replied
    
    11 Jul 2022 , 9:08 am
    
    I agree, the lack of consideration and respect is somewhat alarming.
- - Mumof1cheekymonkey said
  - 09 Jul 2022
    10:12 pm
Oh no, definitely didn’t have my MIL in the delivery room