Like many others have said you should talk about this with your son first. He probably knows about how the coach works his ‘discipline’ and also would know whether he feels he could cope at another team after leaving his current ‘friends’ behind. The last thing you want is to boss your son around as he will still lose out playing a game he once lived. Make your decision after talking with your boy.

Tough situation to be in. I’d speak to the coach and get the answers you are after. If you are driven out of the Club speak up to the local community, let them know of this poor behaviour and type of bullying that is going on within the club. Move your son to a club that is more inclusive and watch your son shine.

I would speak to your son and if he’s happy I’d speak to the coach. If you do somehow get pushed out of the team and have to move to a new district at least your son might actually get to play. I can’t imagine anyone would be happy being water boy all season.

I agree with what some of the others on here are saying. There has to be someone who is in charge of the coach, so you need to go above his head if you are worried about this sort of thing. It’s not fair and he shouldn’t be getting away with treating people like that.

Does your sport have some kind of governing body at the district level? Because if so, my strategy would be to talk to the coach, document it, and then go over his head to the governing body to ask them to consider whether the coach is treating players in a way that is fair and appropriate.

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  • • mom93821 replied
    • 02 Nov 2024 , 6:26 am

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  You do indeed make a very good point and there is indeed always someone higher in organisations and concerns and grievances can go to a governing body/committee. Good team work is so important and there should be a code of ethics for coaches and players to adhere to at all times.

I agree it is a wise thing to do to first speak with your son and what he would like to do. You are clearly a loving and devoted mum travelling 1.5 hours at times and taking the siblings along to take your son to his games.
You state that others who stood up against this coach usually got forced out of the team. So this coach is able to silence the players and parents with his power games. For me the question would be if I would be willing to play this power game with him and if this is something I would like to subject my child to and what effect this would have on my child. In the end this is something you need to deceide together with your son

Speak to your son and then speak to the coach. Ask for the support of those other parents who agree.

Find another team, these things should be fair not biased

Firstly I’d speak to your son and see what he would like to do. Give him the choice of trying to make friends with the coaches son or ask if he wants to play for another team. If you do something off your own back without your son’s approval, it may backfire on you. You’re a good Mum so between the both of you, you’ll be able to work out what happens next.

I would suggest finding another team. My sons previous team/coach was no longer a supportive and fair environment and after watching his confidence and enthusiasm drop over 2 years, he decided to change teams. It was hard leaving the only team he knew but it was the best decision. His new coach and team were encouraging and supportive and he ended up having is best season (until injury struck).
The alternative is stay/ ask when your son will get some game time

As I see it you have four choices. 1) Get your son to make friends with the coach’s son. Suck up and make friends with the coach yourself so you get the same privileges as the others 2) Complain to the teams Board which may get you nowhere but have the coach holding a grudge 3) Change teams – never mind loyalty, they certainly aren’t loyal to you 4) Do nothing

Sit back do nothing like you always have done .Stop being a coward and stand up for your child you are weak. It is you who has the problem 100% chicken .If your house was on fire what you would do is starting ringing around and getting advice whilst your house burns to the ground .
You are lame get out and go to the coach and give it to him and as for the others who said if you complain you be treated bad well they are just more chickens just like you. Stand up for your child you chicken

Aw, tis sounds very unfair indeed. You would expect from a coach to live out good sportmanships values with fair and generous behaviour or treatment of others, especially in a sporting contest. I would speak with him saying that he doesn’t show and act the right sportmanships values and that you therefor have decided to a different club

I also commented on this issue in the forum section of this site. We were in a similar situation and we did speak up for our children and other children. It is important for children to see their parents in a respectful manner standing up to people and questioning them. We did make a move and it was the best decision for our children and for us.

My son had the same issue. Though parents volunteering as team coaches is such an invaluable part of kids sport, these parents need to set their own egos and relationships aside. My son’s coach definitely favoured the kids of her friends and their social circle. It took me a while to realise that my gut instinct was correct and that there was an issue, so I changed him to another team, where he flourished. Don’t leave it too long, make the decision to change teams for your child, sooner rather than later.

This is very unfair and the situation is unlikely to change. I would switch to another team/district where you will hopefully find a more objective and fair coach.

This was really sad to read this morning, I couldn’t imagine how heartbreaking it would be to see your son go from participating in something he loves to being the errand boy for the coach. I think this mum should consider changing teams and districts, because right now no one in her family is benefitting from this. Chat to her son and make sure it wouldn’t be a breach of trust between them, and find somewhere he will actually get to play. This coach should be ashamed of themselves, but ego maniacs never have that level of emotional maturity.