"My son is engaged to my step-daughter, they don't see each other as siblings"

It sounds like something that deserves to be on a Jerry Springer show, but it’s actually a reality for a couple who met when they were teens. One dad worries that his son is engaged to his step-daughter, and it’s causing problems in their family.

“My son and step daughter recently revealed to me and my wife that they have been dating secretly all this time and that they’re engaged and that they plan on getting married and starting a family. They also said that they did not tell us sooner because they were afraid of how I would react.”

His 27-year-old son, and 26-year-old step daughter, met back when they were 16 and 15. He shared, “To be honest, something like this happening was a concern for me because they were both teenagers and wouldn’t see each other as siblings but they got along well so I forgot about it.”

The two hit it off and started secretly dating, “They said they started dating a few months after they met and have continued till now.”

“I also know that both of they went colleges in 2 cities very far from each other so they somehow still kept the relationship alive. When they were in college they would only meet whenever they came back for the holidays and I remember that they both were more happy to see each other than us, all of this explains it. They would also go out together “shopping” or “just to see the city” alone. They were other instances which made a lot more sense now. They both live in a different city, my wife and I thought they lived separately but they actually have been living together for 2 years now,” he continued.

While it was a little hard to comprehend at first, the father feels that he should support them, understanding why they kept it a secret, “I am happy for them as long as they are happy. My wife on the other hand was a different story, she went completely ballistic. She started screaming that it’s disgusting and that they’re siblings and this is incest. My step daughter started crying and my son just took her by the hand and left our home.”

While he is accepting of his son’s relationship, his wife is demanding that he break them up and make them date other people, “My wife wants me to somehow convince them to break up and date other people. All I said was ‘They met when they were 16 and 15. They don’t see each other as siblings. If we oppose this, they will hate us forever and I’m sure that they would rather stop talking to us forever than breakup.'”

He is refusing to break them up, knowing the consequence will probably be the couple disowning their parents, “Even I am a little uncomfortable by this but I understand and there really isn’t much I can do. I love my son and step daughter and I know they would disown us if we opposed this.”

Sadly, this has caused problems in the relationship between him and his wife, “My wife is angry now and hasn’t really talked to me ever since this happened.”

Do you think he should step in? Or support their relationship?

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45 Comments

- - mom462038 said
  - 14 Sep 2024
    10:43 am
OK, they were raised as siblings from teenagers, so it sounds a bit yuck. Ultimately, they aren’t blood related so there’s no serious issue.

- - meedee said
  - 31 May 2024
    12:23 pm
They are not bio related so its not a problem at all.

- - mom492462 said
  - 27 Apr 2023
    11:19 am
I literally cant see the problem
There just a young couple that met

- - Mad Bean said
  - 28 Oct 2022
    11:42 am
There is nothing wrong with their relationship. It’s really nice for them. It is very sad that they had to keep it secret through.

- - TraceyGail said
  - 03 Sep 2022
    12:02 pm
It’s not up to them. Keep out of it or it will cause more trouble & heartache. I can’t imagine they would break up just because their parents said to. They are adults.

- - mom111059 said
  - 06 Aug 2022
    10:05 pm
I can understand why this is a little sensitive but the reality is they aren’t related by blood and they are not doing anything wrong. I wish them all the very best.

- - mom400215 said
  - 28 Jun 2022
    11:12 pm
They aren’t blood related & the parents should think of it I’m reverse… what would happen if the step children met & fell in love before the parents did? They the parents met each other through the step children getting married – would they stop the feelings they have for each other? Because they’d be inlaws to each child?

- - romvar said
  - 14 Mar 2022
    7:27 am
It would be a little uncomfortable for the family, yes, but they are not blood related. The family should support them.

- - Carolineb said
  - 31 Dec 2021
    8:55 pm
This is a hard one. They aren’t related by blood but still. It sounds like the mum and dad have more of an issue and need help to sort it out in order to save their relationship.

- - SAS185 said
  - 10 Oct 2021
    10:54 pm
They are only siblings by marriage. Id stay out of it and let it run its own coarse.

- - Sklh said
  - 03 Oct 2021
    12:38 pm
Well done dad. I understand mum’s just reacting to her values, however some investment in developing her emotional intelligence will help prioritise love and happiness.

- - tessie said
  - 29 Sep 2021
    10:38 am
I think the Dad is doing the right thing and keeping out of it. His wife may need counselling to find out why she feels the way she does. If the kids aren’t blood related they aren’t doing anything wrong. If you try to break them up then you may never see them again.

- - Ellen said
  - 27 Sep 2021
    4:29 am
Your son and steph daughter are right not to see each other as siblings. Your son and steph daughter are adults and if you don’t want to destroy your relationship with then, you as parents need to step back and leave them making their own decisions. The parents should focus on how to keep their own relationship healthy

- - ~Loui~ said
  - 24 Sep 2021
    4:21 am
The parents need to get some counselling to save their relationship. The ‘children’ are grown adults and aren’t actually blood relatives.

- - BellaB said
  - 23 Sep 2021
    6:56 pm
I’m not sure how his wife expects him to interfere between two adults.
- Ellen replied
  
  24 Sep 2021 , 8:20 am
  Yes, I was wondering this as well. It would be totally out of line. My eldest 2 kids are 17 and 16 and I feel it’s already not my place to tell them who to hang out with or not. Not when I want to keep a good relationship with them. They’ll have to discover things themselves
- - taracorb said
  - 23 Sep 2021
    7:49 am
They have been together for so long i think at this stage all you can do is support them. Yes it is not ideal but why does the mother believe her relationship is more important than her daughters.

- - rovermum said
  - 22 Sep 2021
    10:00 am
They’re not blood related, so whilst it seems a bit weird, there’s nothing wrong with it.

- - Mummybearmerve said
  - 22 Sep 2021
    8:21 am
I honestly don’t see any issues. Their not even remotely related, its just chance their parents married each other… this happens, i know of instances where people get married and each partners their parents end up together. Not a big deal and these things should be considered when teens are involved in unions.

- - Ellen said
  - 22 Sep 2021
    7:53 am
How could the wife even expect from the dad that he should break his 27-year-old son, and 26-year-old step daughter up ?? What era does she live in ?

- - tea4tee said
  - 22 Sep 2021
    5:30 am
I don’t see the issue really, they met as teenagers, they aren’t actually related to each other through blood, nor did they grow up together. The mothers reaction is unfounded.