It sounds like there could be a few key things that may have triggered the behaviour change. Also as hes reaching toddler stage, it’s natural they become more daring, inquisitive and curious about the world around them too. They’re testing limits and doing what a child does. A new baby added to the mix also takes time away from him too. I’d look at booking an assessment to see if there’s anything underlying not diagnosed

I can’t add much more to what other commenters have already suggested. It does take patience and compassion.

To me it seems like your son is struggling with the fact that there is another child and that he no longer gets your full attention. Have you considered having a dedicated hour where you just do something with him on his own and make it really special just for him? It might even be worthwhile considering a child councillor to see if they could assist in any way. I would also recommend seeing your GP and understanding if there is any underlying conditions that could be causing this or even just for yourself to get a check up and see what help it out there to support you. Good luck, every parent goes through hard times, you got this mumma and there is lots of support out there for you.

Every mum goes through this phase and it’s very challenging.
I can wish you luck and more power to you.
Hope you pass this phase like a pro

Your toddler sounds confused and clearly struggles to cope with these massive changes. He’s only little and children his age can’t recognise, verbalise and regulate emotions yet. This is something he still needs help with by co-regulating. Rather than disciplining and not allowing tantrums, we should acknowledge their emotions, give words to the feeling you see, practise calm yourself, give comfort or space where needed and make sure he’s safe.

What is happening here is that your toddler has had your complete undivided and devoted attention for his whole life the last 3 years. He is clearly having trouble adapting to sharing your attention with his new sibling. You need to have firm boundaries here and it’s going to be hard and take both parents to do it. You can’t do much when you’re in the middle of a feed, but you need to discipline and not allow the tantrums. Find something that works for you and also find time for the 3 year old. Plan fun things and cancel those things if he doesn’t behave. Positive reinforcement is key as well.

Girrrrrrrrl, I feel you, while we have very different situations I still feel your pain. I’m not going to be one that says it gets easier, but I just want you to know you are not alone. I had similar feelings, honestly I had to just force myself to get some help, I got my mum to come around once a day and take my toddler out for an hour, just so I could east, drink water, toilet, shower, feed baby, change baby and then when they came back things felt a little easier as us two were sorted and he got some one on one time with nana to go to a park or something. This is exactly why they say it takes a village, get family or friends you trust to help and it all makes a difference.

Girrrrrrrrl, I feel you, while we have very different situations I still feel your pain. I’m not going to be one that says it gets easier, but I just want you to know you are not alone. I had similar feelings, honestly I had to just force myself to get some help, I got my mum to come around once a day and take my toddler out for an hour, just so I could east, drink water, toilet, shower, feed baby, change baby and then when they came back things felt a little easier as us two were sorted and he got some one on one time with nana to go to a park or something. This is exactly why they say it takes a village, get family or friends you trust to help and it all makes a difference.

Hard kids often stay hard for a very long time, I’m sad to say, I suggest you look for an intervention now. Get a physical check to ensure there’s no underlying problem. Talk to a child psychologist. And if you can, consider some formal child care to give yourself a break.

I think that is why daycare was invented so Mother’s could have some “time out” from their children. A bit like Respite for Carers. Being a Mother is hard work and no one says Thank you or pay you for the Great job you do. The old adage is true ‘It takes a village to raise a Child’. You need to get assistance from someone or somewhere.

Motherhood is hard, so is having a newborn with a toddler. Please don’t think he is doing this deliberately. He’s not the enemy. He’s also had a big lifechange with a new baby sibling. A couple of bits of advice – take him outside – even just in the backyard. Sit and feed the baby & throw the ball for him. Sandpit. Swings, balls, climbing frame, small bike. Wear him out! Get some indoor climbing equipment. Boys are full of energy and need to use that energy. Ask for help – call on a friend or grandparent to take him on an outing for some one-on-one time just him, to give you a break. And lastly, as tired as you are, try to include him with the baby – handing you bath toys, nappies, clothes, and have a ‘quiet basket’ of toys or books you can do with him on the couch while you’re feeding bub. You can do this – day by day!

There is certainly wonderful advice below from the other marvellous mums .
I am assuming your three year old is feeling a tad rejected …after all he has had all the attention up till when the second child came along. I also agree with the other mums who have suggested giving him some one on one time and also allowing him to help with bub (handing you a fresh nappy) etc and really praising his help. I am not certain if you could afford this and please I do hope this does not offend but a day or two in day-care would help him socialise, make friends and set skills like sharing and empathy to name a few.
And lastly if indeed you are at your last piece of self-worth consider seeking help from Dr or counsellor …also here are the online help support centres. Free online help and phone support for parenting babies and children in Australia includes 24/7 services like Pregnancy, Birth and Baby (1800 882 436), Tresillian (1300 272 736), and Karitane (1300 227 464). For mental health, PANDA (1300 726 306) and Beyond Blue (1300 22 46 36) offer support. Parent Line NSW (1300 130 052) provides counselling, while Raising Children Network offers online resources.

Reading this really hit home. My daughter has a two-and-a-half-year-old and a 9-month-old, and she went through — and honestly is still going through — something very similar. My Grandson was such an easy baby too, but once the new baby arrived everything seemed to change.

The toddler suddenly needed constant attention, would push boundaries, and the timing was almost unbelievable — every time the baby was just about to fall asleep, the toddler would start making noise, banging toys, yelling, or running around. This would also happen when I would look after them both at my place giving my daughter a chance to rest.

I’ve seen how exhausting it can be. My daughter has had days where she’s felt completely overwhelmed trying to juggle a baby who needs feeding and settling with a toddler who suddenly seems louder, more demanding, and full of energy. It’s not that the toddler is being “bad” — they’re just trying to figure out their place now that they’re not the only one anymore.

What helped a little over time was giving him small “jobs” with the baby, lots of reassurance, and trying to carve out even tiny bits of one-on-one attention when possible. It didn’t fix everything overnight, but slowly things started to settle as the baby got older and the toddler adjusted.

For any parent going through this stage — you’re not alone. It’s incredibly hard, especially with little sleep and constant demands, but many families experience this shift when a new baby arrives.

Aw bless this sounds hard and I can imagine this drags you down. The arrival of a new baby is a massive change in the family dynamics and it’s clear your toddler struggles with this transition. First thing that comes to my mind is one on one time with your toddler. Maybe when you breastfeed your new born your partner/husband can spend some time with your toddler and when you finished breastfeeding your partner could take the baby and you could spend some time (play a game, read a book, hold him, etc). Also when you hold the baby, hold your toddler too and involve him in the care for the baby with little jobs and huge amount of praise. Praise is more important than correction, so make it a goal to praise any and every little thing he can be praised for. I don’t know if you have family / friends nearby but accept all help offered ! When you feel at total breaking point I would seek some professional help.

This sounds like a hard issue. Maybe the toddler is feeling a little left out with the news baby in the house. We are having our second mid this year and I plan on keeping my son’s routine as best I can. His two days or daycare, swimming lessons and gymnastics. Things he looks forward to and gets a lot of energy out. If he gets bored he tends to want to throw all his toys around.