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Article The importance of positive parenting

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Being a parent is one of the most fulfilling experiences a person can have. 

It is sad to see that many parents feel guilty at times as they think that they are bad parents. Just because yourchild doesn’t sleep throughout the night, or they decide to jump up and down at thesupermarket checkout because they want that chocolate egg, it doesn’t make you a badparent. Things like this happen to the best of parents.

The most important thing a parent can give their child, however, is a sense of being loved.

All they want is a cuddle and the knowledge that they will be safe and nurtured no matterwhat. Just keep in mind that you don’t have to be infallible to be a “perfect” parent.

In fact in my experience being “non perfect” has helped me be a better mum.

Many mothers can be overwhelmed by family and friends offering their opinion. I think it’s great to seek advice but ultimately you should take control and believe that what you do is good. Your intention is to do the absolute best that you can for your child and the wrong action can help you understand what the right course of action is next time.

Listen to your child. I think this is such a crucial mistake that we forget to observe the character traits of our children. If they are newborn they obviously cannot speak but that’s not to say you cannot listen and observe their demeanour.

Often by listening to their cues you can work out what they may need.

Don’t put everything down to the explanation that “they are grumpy because they are tired”.

Find some time for yourself. Good parents do not parent 24/7, and if they did, they would commit themselves to an asylum.

Having children constantly pulling on your skirt, asking foryour attention, and needing picking up after on a regular basis can really get to someone. If you do not take care of yourself, you will not be able to take care of anybody else.

Just a quick fifteen minutes to take a shower without interruption can be blissful, or half an hour to go for a walk can really help.

This might be after the kids are in bed or while they are at school. When it happens it doesn’t matter, but you do need some time to work out your thoughts and have some peace and quiet.

Just remember that you will not be able to control everything about your kids. Don’t feel bad when you forget to wash their school uniforms or if they sulk because you cannot commit to a play date. Listen to your child when they need to talk to you and set clear guidelines as towhat is expected of them.

You have to let your kids grow up. A parent that does everythingfor their child is not a good parent. You need to allow your child to begin to do things on theirown.

My best tip would be to love them unconditionally; don’t force them to be who you think they should be in order to earn your love. Let them know that you will always love them no matter what.

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Comments

  • This headline and me worrying….was I a positive parent? I asked my self. Then I got to the end and it said kids need unconditional love……and they got that. So I think I managed it

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  • Great post!

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  • Thanks for sharing this article; a good read.

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  • this is a lovely article
    good read!

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  • Good tips about how positive parenting works

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  • I have done this with my children and they have minds of their own and are happy well adjusted kids

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  • What a great article. Although you would think that listening to your children is something you do all the time I can see that I don’t actively listen. Will remember to do that and give myself a break.

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  • We all want to be the best Mum there is, but being the best Mum ‘we can be’, is what we need to realise is just right.

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  • Something I need to remember every day!

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  • Great article and tips the biggest thing I can teach my kids is it is ok not to be prefect and saying I am sorry can be easy

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  • One of the worst things that we can do is to compare ourselves and the way we parent, to the way other people do. If what you are doing is working for you and your children, and you’re not causing anyone harm by the way you do things, then continue on. And while other people do have a right to their opinions (on the way we parent, or on any matter really), we don’t have to take on board those opinions. That is our right and our choice.

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  • Nobody’s perfect & I think sometimes we are our own harshest critics.Great read thanks!

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  • I have always told my kids that im not perfect and that I make mistakes.
    They need to learn that its ok to make mistakes.

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  • All of this is so true. As parents we are quick to criticise ourselves and others are quick to judge. I recently had a run in with a relative who listed all the things I do wrong. I sat back, thought about it, spoke to my husband and really close friends and decided I am doing just fine. Be the person you want to be and realise you will mess up at times. Learn from this and move on.

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  • Every mother is different as every child is different. If you ask for advice, only listen to those who give it without condemnation, Those that condemn have never admitted the mistakes they have made those that empathise have made mistakes and learned from them. Every person makes mistakes and the only thing our children will remember is that we love them unconditionally and will always have their back!

    • I’m not sure which I like better – the article or your very truthful and insightful comment. I totally agree. It’s really got me thinking actually.

      • thank you to all those who have made comments. At the end of the day we are all human and if we can be honest with ourselves then the mistakes we make don’t really matter do they!

        Regards
        Antonette

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  • Great read, I’m struggling a little at the moment so this has come at a good time for me as something to think about. Thanks very much xx

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  • And block out what other people are saying too…everyone is a critic and everyone seems to know ‘better’ ways of doing things! Keep in mind that you are in the best position to know your child :)

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  • Great read an I totally understand what she is saying.. Some people try so hard an it’s not worth all the stress..

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