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Most babies and toddlers love to be with their parents; after all, we are social beings who thrive on social interaction with others and the security of another when we are babies. This is a pre-programmed function that ensures our survival as a species. So when it comes to bedtime, it is natural for a baby or toddler to not want to separate from the parent and family.

Our Western society, however, is not structured in a way that parents can always be with the sleeping baby or toddler. In today’s Western world we often see our baby or toddler sleep patterns as a indicator of our parenting skill, which logically we know is not as simple as that but the questions we always hear are; Does your baby sleep? Is he a good or bad sleeper? Actually it can be a range of factors that impact on how a baby and toddler settle for and maintain sleep and the simple actions of preparation for sleep can be very influential.

Some preparation sleep tips

Avoid overtiredness. It cannot be overstated how important it is to the brain of a baby and toddler to avoid being overtired. Sleep happens much easier if it occurs when the tried signs are showing, and not ages after. What are your infant or toddlers early tired signs? Not the late yawning ones, the early ones. These are your indicator to start getting ready for a sleep time. Grizzly, irritable behaviour indicates later tired signs and sleep needs to happen pretty soon. There’s not much time to play with when those late tired signs are upon you.

Turn the TV and computer off. No screens are recommended by the American Association of Paediatrics, until the age of 2 years.  A quiet book reading or cuddle and song are much more calming on the brain than the stimulating activity of TV and computer screens. How about 20-30 minutes without a screen before sleep time, to allow that little brain to slow down, ready for sleep. TVs are far more stimulating than we often give them credit for.

Anticipation helps the baby and/or toddler know that bedtime is approaching. The gentle cuddle and rock or a song can add to the ‘messages’ that sleep time is near.

Swaddling or wrapping can be very calming in infants, it’s helps them not be woken by those early reflexes that happen when they startle and being swaddled can promote a sense of being cuddled as well as help the baby feel contained and secure. For safety reasons of course, once an baby begins to roll it is no longer appropriate to swaddle because they may not be able to move if they find roll to a position where they cannot breathe comfortably. It is at this point that using a safe, weather weight, age appropriate sleeping bag can be useful. Safe Sleep Space has an “Ultimate Sleep Kit” which includes a swaddle that evolves into a sleeping bag by popping arms out when babe commences rolling, taking much of the stress and distress out of ‘unwrapping’ your baby..

Together during the cuddle, dim the lights and ‘set the scene’ for sleep.

Blankie or teddy can offer comfort to help the baby and toddler make the transition from being with you to without you. A ‘blankie’ with a satin edge is a perfect comforter as it can be safely tucked in under the mattress so it cannot obstruct airflow to the baby and child. Be careful not to use anything that may interfere with the airflow to a baby or may be choked on, just be sensible, if you can tuck it in and the baby can feel it but not pull it over their face or inhale or choke on it. SIDS offers guidelines regarding bedding and baby (www.sidsandkids.org).

Allow the baby and toddler to drift to sleep in their cot. Going to sleep from drowsy and just quiet and alert is the ideal way for sleep to begin. Self-regulation in the form of shuffling around and getting comfortable is part of preparation for sleep, so it can be done if the baby or toddler has the opportunity to do that for himself or herself before sleep. Drifting to sleep helps a baby and toddler know how to get back to sleep when they naturally wake between sleep cycles.

Remember not to offer bed time as an option to a toddler. That leaves the parent in a rather awkward position when the toddler politely declines the invitation to go to bed. Gently and calmly say ‘it is bed time now’. If your want to offer choices at this time, let that be from the two books to read from, rather than choosing to or not to go to bed.

Think about adding a ‘sleep message’ into the bedroom; darken the room, use very low lighting and add some background white noise to help the baby and toddler ‘see’ and feel it is sleep time.

Remember not every baby or toddler can just ‘go to sleep’ they often need support and a lot of patience from a loving and understanding parent. Guidance and a positive approach will help the baby and child make the transition to sleep more readily.

For further help see www.safesleepspace.com.au or call 1300 775 337 – Safe Sleep Space

  • Thanks for sharing this 🙂

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  • Thanks for a very useful article

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  • great read, thanks for that

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  • Some very helpful tips. Thanks for sharing

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  • Hopefully this tips work for my boy.

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  • My little ones get bath dinner quite time bed my grand kids get bath dinner run a muck mums bed … omg the difference is unreal.. now when miss comes here we have to put her to sleep in outr bed and transfer her or she screams for hours..

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  • Thanks for sharing some useful advice.

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  • my kids don’t get the option. Dinner, quiet time, bath, story then bed. In that order every night & it works

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  • Some really good suggestions here. Will try the white noise in the background as at the moment bub still cant put himself to sleep at 4 months

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  • some really great ideas and suggestions.

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  • Thanks very much for the awesome tips

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  • Some great tips here the first few months can be hard I just slept when I could lol

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  • Try lots of different things and find what works best for you and your baby to get a bit of sleep – that was my mum’s advice…that and don’t stress and sleep when you can, especially with a newborn! 😀

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  • I don’t think anything can prepare you for the lack of sleep you get with a newborn! but you soon get used to it!


    • I has no idea how much sleep I would NOT get lol



      • you hear everyone talk about it and you’re like “yeah yeah” then wham it hits you!


      • yep and for us we had twins, so no sleep at all!

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  • The most stressful part of being a new parent us the lack of sleep,
    I just felt horrible all the time.

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  • Thanks very much for the useful advice

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  • All babies are so different. o you may listen to all advice but don’t do your head in worrying too much. Babies can sense your stress.


    • Completely agree with you. I see so many parents make comments on facebook that their baby ‘should be sleeping through the night by now’, and ‘why can’t they be normal’, etc. and more often than not they’re talking about a child that is no more than a few months old.



      • I guess that is just an expectation that all kids sleep through the night but in reality that doesnt always happen. My son is very good will sleep through daughter however wakes up frequently


      • Could not have said it better myself, trust what you do and what works for bub.

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  • Good advice, I need help getting my baby to settle herself

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  • i need to settle my little lady even at nap times

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  • Jus the help I needed

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