Relationships: endure or enjoy?

Here’s a short but deep thought for you to ponder: Are the friends you have in your world truly your friends? Do you ENDURE them or ENJOY them? And if you’re enduring them rather than enjoying them, what value is there in that relationship?

Our time becomes more precious as we mature and you quickly find out what works and doesn’t work for you in your relationships. I can leave social catch-ups with girlfriends and feel totally renewed and energised, whilst for other gatherings it’s like the electricity cord has been yanked and I question ‘Was that just a bad catch up’? or I think ‘maybe I was off my game’.

The real truth is that maybe we could be forcing something that might have slowly dwindled due to life’s circumstances and priorities. Nothing is wrong with you or them, but the enjoyable friendship has turned into one that you endure.

Friendships should be light, fun and above all caring enough to tell the truth in good and bad times. Friends don’t always agree on everything but respect each others differences. One definition of the word friendship says “a friendship is a relationship where one knows, likes and trusts”; another notes that friendship translated through Latin is ‘love’.

So if you have started to endure rather than enjoy, how do we phase out a relationship that we know is no longer serving us? It sounds hard, but there are so many options. Creating distance is a small but subtle start, and you may have enough history to actually sit down and talk about it. It’s possible for you to both acknowledge that you are headed in different directions. It’s also important that you don’t allow the fading friendship to occupy your time or thoughts. Be honest with yourself and make a decision based out of love not frustration.

Spring cleaning relationships is a necessity throughout life, especially for females. This type of spring cleaning keeps us in check of who we keep company with, and how those relationships are influencing us. A real friendship is one that brings out the best in each of you, it challenges you, and above all brings loads of laughter. If you’re not feeling great about any of your relationships, a spring clean could be what’s needed.

109 Comments

- - mom81879 said
  - 30 Sep 2015
    9:08 pm
I think all relationships have moments to endure and moments to enjoy. As long as enjoy outweighs endure, all is good

- - dannsbuild said
  - 23 Sep 2015
    2:42 pm
Really interesting article! Thanks for sharing this!

- - mom93821 said
  - 31 Dec 2014
    8:00 pm
Thanks for sharing this interesting article.

- - kazh said
  - 29 Aug 2014
    9:12 am
A lot of valid points here. Thanks

- - skbou said
  - 24 Jul 2014
    11:55 pm
I love my friends and really enjoy their company but know that I am a bit of an introvert & at times find myself mentally spent from spending a full day or even a few hours more than once or twice a week in their company…. I often need time to myself. Friendship does sometimes a bit of work, if that feels like ‘enduring’ then that’s what I’ll do.

- - Pielow said
  - 31 May 2014
    9:35 pm
I was in a 7 year relationship until he moved overseas without me. Distance created the much needed space for clearing my thoughts, and I realised that I am perfectly fine without him in my life.

- - mom57522 said
  - 22 May 2014
    5:53 pm
I’m lucky, I like my friends!

- - Happymum-2 said
  - 10 May 2014
    4:48 pm
relationships are to enjoy, if you have to endure then it is time to rethink your situation

- - Happymum said
  - 07 May 2014
    3:53 pm
if you don’t enjoy then it is time to get out, endurance in a relationship leads to problems

- - scottie said
  - 07 May 2014
    8:30 am
you should enjoy the relationship more time than you endure

- - cheezel said
  - 05 May 2014
    6:53 pm
sometimes you don’t come to the realisation that a relationship is not providing you with what you need for a long time

- - caramello said
  - 31 Mar 2014
    10:29 pm
enjoy. thank you for sharing this

- - mle00 said
  - 30 Mar 2014
    12:48 am
Sometimes we hold on to a relationship far beyond its used by date for many different reasons, sometimes this is valid and at others its a waste of time and energy, deciding which though is not easy.

- - mummy liana said
  - 22 Mar 2014
    11:34 pm
thanks for sharing was a good read

- - jadeeeee said
  - 21 Mar 2014
    12:38 am
Thank you sharing this article to read.

- - jenny9761 said
  - 17 Mar 2014
    1:19 pm
I don’t know whether I would call it spring cleaning friends out of my life, they just drift away, as we change as we get older

- - neenee said
  - 06 Mar 2014
    3:11 pm
Good point on spring cleaning friendships. Ive done this over time. Your true friends are ones that stick by you in all types of circumstances.

- - mummy liana said
  - 01 Mar 2014
    6:38 pm
thanks for sharing was a great read

- - maurya said
  - 03 Feb 2014
    5:42 pm
you do change your way of thinking as you get older, with other influences in your life, however some friendships are enduring, always there for you,I can completely agree- my mother always used to say if you cancount your good friends on one hand then you are lucky- i never fully understood this until recently!

- - yyon4699 said
  - 27 Jan 2014
    5:00 pm
You are suppose to enjoy….. there’s ups and downs but not when you have to endure the whole life. Have to always be open with the other half, get it sorted sooner and you will have a happy ending!