I don’t like to broadcast my problems, I keep a lot to myself. Opening up about my feelings to my husband has never been an easy thing.
When my first daughter was born I was on top of the world, I never got the 3 day blues and was quite proud of myself with how I was handling being a mum. I had no family support from my side of the family and honestly my inlaws were far from helpful.
When I was pregnant with my second daughter, my moods were all over the place which I put down to hormones. After she was born I struggled with two children, after a few months I got a great routine going and again thought my wild emotions in her first months of life were hormones. Then I got pregnant again when my second was 6 months old.
My third pregnancy was hard, my emotions were all over the place, I was crying over nothing really, again I thought hormones. Once my son was born I thought the moods would subside once my hormones balanced them selves out and breastfeeding was established properly. I was ever so wrong.
The first 6 weeks of my sons life I felt like a failure, I was struggling to handle all 3 kids on my own and thought in time a routine would come into play. I felt my husband was a waste of space and wasn’t helping me at all. I had thoughts that no mother should ever think.
At my sons 6 week check I tried to have a brave face, to act like nothing was wrong and everything was perfect in my little family, the nurse saw straight through it and I broke down. I wasn’t ok, my family life was far from perfect.
Thanks to this beautiful health nurse and her knowledge of postnatal depression she picked up on the signs and pushed me to get help. My son is now 14 weeks old and although I’m far from ‘cured’ so to speak, I have now become aware of my illness.
Postnatal depression is horrible! I never thought I would get it, but I did. It took 2 pregnancies to finally admit there is something wrong. Postnatal depression won’t go away on its own. Please get help if you feel something isn’t right. I far from being well but I’m on my way and taking one day at a time!
Posted by mykah225, 3rd September 2013