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My daughter will be 4 on November 12th and I’ve recently noticed that I am extremely clucky. After our daughter was born we were completely against another baby. The birth was awful. 2 days, 2 failed inductions followed by a c section. The only thing I remember is it took 7 minutes for her to be “born”. And only because I was told. My poor husband was so stressed out by this stage he was physically ill for about a week. Poor bugger. After leaving the hospital, I did not cope at all and was soon diagnosed with depression. It was so bad I was sent to a psychiatrist. And I’ve spent the last almost 4 years on meds. Last year I got pregnant, completely unplanned. I was so stoked but unfortunately 3 days past my 12 week safety net I miscarried. And was utterly destroyed. People actually avoided me because they didn’t know what to say, that hurt, I won’t lie. By this stage we were definitely anti baby. But now a year has passed and I’ve been off my meds nearly for months, thanks to my PT, and I think I’m ready to begin again. Our daughter has been asking for a brother or sister for awhile now and as much as I would like to give her one, it is not solely up to me. My husband isn’t keen on the idea of another baby. I think he is against it actually, not that I blame him. I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this. My only girlfriend with kids says “who cares what he thinks it’s your body”. Definitely out of the question.
I don’t know if I’m looking for advice and for others to weigh in with their thoughts or I’m just spilling. Advice and thoughts are always welcome. I do have to admit it does a soul good to let loose with pain.


Posted anonymously, 18th September 2014


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  • having another baby not for me now i have 1 and it s not easy

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  • Not sure if you’ve made a decision or not, but having your second is definitely much easier than the first. I had an awful start to motherhood and was diagnosed with PND about 8 months later although I think I’d been suffering right from the start. I lost my Dad when my bub was only 12 weeks old so that threw my world upside down. I was apprehensive having my second, worried that I would have the same experience, but it was so much easier right from the start. Even the midwives said to me “if only we could have our second baby’s first” and it’s so true! You don’t sweat the small stuff so much and you’re already used to the change in life of being a parent so it’s not such a shock. The first 12 months are still a challenge, but my experience has been quite positive and fun in comparison.
    All the best for whatever decision you make.

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  • top story

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  • this story is good

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  • nice story to have a read

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  • great exellent

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  • it is a exellent story

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  • Its a partnership decision and one that you do have to come to together. You do need to discuss it. List your for and against; same with hubby. Come together and discuss it (when your little girl is not in hearing range). We went through a similar situation. Hubby was dead said against another pregnancy due to my health. It took me a good 12 months to come to terms with my health issues and finally realised he was right. There is nothing wrong with having just one child.

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  • Gosh, hugs to you! Glad you have somewhere to voice your thoughts, I dont have much advice but I think you need to talk to your hubby about what you are feeling, and what could happen if things don’t go as planned. Is the heartache going to outweigh the happiness or vice versa. Good luck with it all.

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  • First of all, i just want to send so much love for what you have been through xx
    It might be that hubby might be worried about how this will affect you, should it not got to plan – so perhaps a really indepth and meaning conversation needs to be had between you both, lay all the cards on the table and go from there. Perhaps if he’s worried about what could happen, you could come up with a plan to help you through it all should you need. Communication is definitely the key, but you also need to keep your mind open and really listen to what he has to say without judgement (and vice versa)
    Good Luck Sweetiexx

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