We are lucky enough to have absolutely fantastic neighbours living near us who we get along with really well and love spending time with. Our kids are of similar ages and play together really well. I used to love that my kids had friends so close to hang out with, something that I would have loved to have when I was growing up! However, recently I’ve started to notice my older girl picking up some bad habits from her friends, language that I would prefer her not to use and a rude attitude from time to time. I want them to continue to play together and keep their lovely friendship but still maintain the standards that I expect of my kids. I don’t really know how to approach this, but I do know that this won’t be the only situation where she will be exposed to people or behaviour that is not ideal! And so the parenting journey continues… Any pearls of wisdom are gratefully accepted!

Posted by billyjean, 15th April 2013

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  • I think it depends on the child and how they normally respond to boundaries and rules. It might be as simple as telling her the new bad language/ attitude isn’t acceptable and not to use it (especially when you are around) and give some consequence when she forgets. If she is old enough to be rebelling against other’s rules then help her want to change it for herself.. help her workout why it is important not to use offensive language so she can get on in life (especially with superiors or to get a job), and why a rude attitude will rarely get her what she wants, and if she is angry at something how there are better ways to deal with it than being rude to a person, etc. or if she was on the receiving end how it might make her feel and whether she wanted to put people off-side….she is probably trying to fit in with her friend..if you can chat to the friend’s parents too and help the friend get the same message from her parents it might make things go easier too.


  • it really is a hard situation you have to make certain that you stick to your expectations and rules and show that the behaviour is not acceptable.

    • That’s a great reply. Good points to take on board.

      • I agree, stick with your expectations and standards.


  • Our kids were very friendly with our neighbours kids (they live quite a way down the road, we do not live in suburbia) until the neighbour kids started breaking our sons toys, swearing at him being rude to us and they I caught them having a fight (my son was asking him to leave and he wouldn’t) The next day at school the boy threatened that he would come over during the night and poison our dog. My son was so upset, I tried talking to his parents and the school told me that the family and boy had issues. We ended up cutting all communication with them, it became very uncomfortable, but you do what you have to do.


  • i have the same problem but i hate to hurt peoples feelings thats a hard one


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