I have been on a dilemma …
… for a while (a while because I can’t remember how long).
My dilemma was this: how can I serve God?
For some this may be trivial. Of course there are a thousand ways to serve God. That was my dilemma – out of the thousands, I was clueless.
Well, first there were so many ways that I couldn’t choose; then circumstances made me re-evaluate until well … there was none left. I had plenty of excuses –
“I don’t have time. I do shift work.”
“How can I be used? I am a sinner.”
“I don’t have much talents.”
“I am shy. What if I get rejected?”
And on and on and on …
So my ideas slowly but surely dissolved until I was left with none and thus, the dilemma.
I prayed but there was no answer. I asked but there was no revelation. I kept praying to God, “PLEASE GOD! USE ME!” But there were days that I truly felt un-used, un-important in the Kingdom of God. I felt un-qualified for all the jobs God can ever give me.
Then as I was reading my devotions from One Year Bible in Calvary Christian Church, I was struck with a revelation that God has revealed a long time ago to me but I refused to open my eyes. Rather, I refused to focus on Him and instead, I was focusing on myself.
Pastor James Hensley wrote:
1 Corinthians 1:26-27
For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, than the things which are not to bring nothing to the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence.
God has chosen: the FOOLISH, the WEAK, the BASE, the DESPISED, and the things that are NOT to glorify Himself. Wow… I have never been so happy to be insulted in all of my life!!! HAHA. God doesn’t call the QUALIFIED, He qualifies the CALLED. The truth is, that I was all of those things. I was a fool. I was weak. I stuffed up all of the time. I was so base and common. I was despised in my sin. I was not a son. I was nothing!!
When God got a hold of my life, His Perfect Love got a hold of me. He turned everything on its head. He made me to be wise. His strength perfected my weakness. I am now anything but common or base. I have moved from the despised to the chosen! I was alone and empty and God called me his son. Everything is so different now.
When we come to Jesus we come just as we are. A complete mess. But He is the Restorer! The Redeemer! The One who Makes all things new again. He takes the broken and uses them to reach the world. You don’t need to be anything to come to Jesus. He loves taking the mess that you are and clean it, healing it, molding it, and shaping it to Glorify Himself.
WOW! I definitely was looking at it all wrong. I cannot hide my weaknesses from God. God created me so He knew all my stuff ups and He knows all my failures, victories and strengths. I am reminded more clearly of this motto:
God does not called the qualified. He qualifies the called!
What an amazing revelation! That I, as sinner, a fool, a weak link is needed in the Kingdom of God because it is through me who is weak that God showed strength to strength and revealed grace to grace!
Which now leads me to this – my first blog post that has meaning (because all others back then were focused about me and my circumstances instead of God and God’s power). I may not be the best singer who can lead worship. I may not be very good in talking that I can speak well in front of hundreds of people. I am God’s child. I am a writer and this is the material I will use for His glory. I am His witness and my testimony of how God picked me up from the miry clay is something that no one cannot take away from me.
I may be on a journey to know my true calling. But at least I am sure I am called to be a witness for His glory.
Posted by Madeline De Leon, 5th July 2014