I’m writing this in the hope that someone can suggest an organisation or people that can help me help my son. I have gained custody of my son and he sees his father every second weekend and school holidays for half of them. For many years my ex partner, who is a Dr of science has been mentally abusing our son. Now he is married to a Dr of Chemisty, who is a hot tempered, impulsive little woman they are both doing it. My son who has just turned 9 came crying into my bed last night after coming home from his father’s. The latest incident involved him having been asked a mathematical question by his father that was sentences long and then asked to repeat the question and the answer to his father’s wife. He said he mumbled because he doesn’t really like talking in front of people and had a dry mouth and requested water, which he was denied until after he repeated the extensive question and the answer. After all this his father and wife went outside had an argument, then proceeded to rip down all of my son’s posters on his wall and the wife said she was giving them away to somebody, including a special book mark my son had had since prep. His father stood there and berated his son singing the Coles song “Down, down, you’re grades are going to go down.” He then proceeded to tell his son that he would have no further involvement with his education. My son believes he is a failure and I wondered why when he came home and I asked him to give me a hand with putting the clean sheets on his bed that he said “Mum when I can’t do things so well can you give me some encouragement.” Hours later this horrible story came out. This is one of many. He stripped my son down a few years ago at the dinner table when he spilt something on himself and on purpose made him sit there out of punishment and eat. I have the profile from the psychiatrist that we both had to undergo as part of the court battle that ended with him handing over custody to me, after saying I wasnt a good mother and costing me $30,000. He doesn’t live his son- all he loves is money and prowess. When my son wasn’t the mirror image, despite looking like him it has annoyed him to the extent of abuse. Because they are white collar and hide behind their titles I find it hard. I do have proof of their abusive crimes and I can prove many things beyond what I have said, but who do I go to? Child protection will do nothing. Lawyers will do nothing. Another little boy who already suffers low self esteem is going to fall through the cracks because of people’s unwillingness to act. I work full time and earn only a moderate wage. I don’t know how to protect my son other than what I did last night in comforting him and reassuring him that he is bright and amazing and his father’s behaviour was out of order. Please help.

Posted anonymously, 3rd January 2015

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  • wow this is amazing. he sounds really strict. Maybe have a chat to his wife if she is a decent person. They may have been argueing over your ex’s tough stance.


  • Your poor boy, his father sounds horrible! I really don’t know what advice I can offer except to keep reassuring and encouraging your son.


  • I’m not sure it’s a perfect answer, but I’d definitely get a child psychologist involved. Your closest major hospital or GP should be able to refer you, and you may be able to get it bulk billed. Good luck, this sounds horrible.


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