It’s funny how no matter what you do as a parent you will be and are criticized. Lets start with size, your baby is small, you’re a bad parent and must’ve done something wrong, you certainly must put weight on that baby (seriously, you want me to force-feed my baby? Yeah get fucked.) You have a big baby, your baby is obese! Stop feeding that baby. (okay so you want the child to starve? Yeah same as above.)
Feeding holy crap feeding!! Breastfeeding, now as my son has always been small someone who shall not be named told me i had no nutrients in my milk!!! But seriously such controversy, how dare you breast feed in public!! Or the, oh you express milk as I would call BOTTLE feed, is always assumed that you have self conscious issues, you lose that attachment. (I don’t need to clear anything, but I lost some feeling of attachment when it was only formula and I was under so much pressure!.)
Oh and formula feeding, either the “oh you formula feed?” Or better yet “you poor thing you can’t breast feed?” Well either way if its a choice or medical reason or it didn’t work for you, why should need to explain that decision?! You don’t! Whatever you do, say it loud, say it proud and fuck the opinions!
Something that I have been criticized on, for ages, no tears theory doesn’t work for my family. Nope (oh so many judgy looks I bet). There’s a limit to when we can let him cry, but seriously my child is safe. I find every time I go to sit down to eat when I NEED to, well he cries, shower time, he cries, need to poo? Oh yeah, he senses it and he WILL cry no doubt. Something a very special person who came into my life taught me that if he’s in a safe space, you know he’s fine, don’t stress. But if you’re like me, or if you choose the no tears strategy (you don’t let your child cry? He/she will be a needy bitch.)
You will be judged, even better, parents, people who never have had or want kids, the media, doctors, everyone WILL judge you. Why?! Why is it necessary to judge people’s parenting? How does this affect you?
Seriously, like I will openly admit, I’m not perfect! Nope! Far from it, but no one is! If that child isn’t neglected (I don’t mean a little crying), being beaten, then what is it to anyone else? I’m seriously so over hearing everyone else’s bullshit. It’s everywhere you look. Any new parent is looking for support, people they can turn to and ask for advice. Key word: ASK.
Want to be told hey, you ARE a good parent, it WILL be okay. Don’t be judging pricks. I’d hate for people to be made to feel the way I was off a LOT of people. This shouldn’t have been the case. I’m thankful for having so many amazing people who have stood up for me, who have helped me when I desperately needed it, for having such an amazing understanding partner, not always you will agree with things of other people’s decision’s but you can suggest nicely and let them know what you’re wanting to do isn’t telling them what to do, but guide them, but if it didn’t work don’t hound them into your beliefs.
I have a baby who is around the 5th percentile, born 3.1 weeks early, I know people focus on how small he is, well he was born under any percentiles’, but his length is at the 70th+ percentile, his head is above that! He is amazing, advancing in aspects well above what any book says he should be. He is a beautiful, happy, healthy boy. I breast-fed, I Expressed, mix fed, and now only formula. My baby cries sometimes, but he is so happy most the time. He doesn’t need someone else’s approval to know how much his daddy and I love him, care for him and want what is and always will be best for him.
He loves us. That’s what matters, that’s the only thing that should matter.
Posted anonymously, 4th June 2015