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I have a confession to make. When I had my 20 week ultrasound with my first child when I was 21 years old I burst into tears. My mum and my partners mum both looked at each other and said “it’s a boy”. My heart just longed for a beautiful baby girl. I remember nights where I would lay in bed and the tears would just flow… but then everything just changed the day I delivered my beautiful baby boy… he was perfect in every way and I fell in love with him at once. With the second child I hoped and prayed for a baby girl… I was so nervous at the ultrasound but had my fingers and toes crossed… I think my face fell when they announced it was a boy because the ultrasound technician said “Don’t worry, you can have another one”.

I remember thinking that I would never try again because I would be devastated if I had boys one after the other… But then for the past year I’ve been thinking maybe another boy wouldn’t be so bad… I love the two I already have and my heart has more room to give… If I take the plunge I will love whatever I get. So I’ve been trying the last 5 months to get pregnant and fingers crossed I am. I will take the test next week- don’t want to check too early lol . Anyway secretly inside I’m dying for a girl… I feel envious when I see mothers with little girls… I love to look at girly things and struggle to put them back… I’ve made up my mind to be happy with any healthy child but inside I can’t help but feel that little twinge of sadness and sometimes at night the tears flow as I wonder what my little girl would be like if I ever had one.. would she look like me?

I smile softly as I put that dream away and wonder if anyone else out there feels the same as me?


Posted by preggiegoddess01, 30th May 2013


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  • I think a lot of people do, they feel sadness and resentment

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  • great

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  • I have two girls, always thought I’d have a boy.

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  • Oh yes, I was so pleased when our fourth (after three boys) was a girl. I wanted a baby girl. But I also agree, you love your little boys desperately anyway, and wouldn’t swap them.

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  • boys are good fun.. .

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  • I feel for you as I have been through this as well but trust me, you love your children to bits and wouldn’t change them for anything but you will always wonder what it is like to have a little girl. All the best!

    Reply

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