I just want to let other mums know there is hope after losing a child, My story starts with my first child been born at 25 weeks into the pregnancy. He was very ill and suffered for 40 hours and passed away while undergoing surgery to try and save his life. I can remember walking out of the hospital two hours after giving birth and going with my child refusing tto leave his side to a larger hospital that could treat him. It was then found he had bigger issues than first thought and it was suggested i remained at the hospital while my son was sent to another hospital for treatment. I sent my hubby with bubs so he was never alone. I told hubby to allow anything the doctors suggested if it meant saving his life. The next morning i got the phone call telling me my baby was to have a operation with in the next two hours. I walked out of that hospital against all advise i was given to see my baby for what would be the last time unbeknown to me. I made it with in 30 minutes of the operation starting.
I in no way regret doing this, i can remember been to scared to touch my bubs and can remember a nurse saying to me on the way out its ok to kiss your bubs, so i did and i said i love you and do whats right by you my love just know i will always love you, ( i dont know why i said that but i did). Following that i experienced what you would wish on no mum, My bubs needed two operations in a few hours to save his life which would be followed by many more. He survived the first but during the second he suffered Hypoglymemic shock and was taken from us. My life turned upside down from that moment on. It took a while to recover from the loss.
Fast foward 7 years and i now have three lovely kids. I finally feel my family is complete inclding my angel. I was so scared to try again and i know others that can not bring themselves to after heartache, But i want to let others know my story so if it helps someone to achieve thier dream of a family, although its is scarey, good things can happen after a tragic loss. I think losing my first has made me love what i have that much more……….
Posted by mom56312, 21st September 2015