A stay-at-home mum has divided parents after admitting she wants to hire a cleaner, even though she feels keeping the house clean is ‘her job’.

Posting in an online parenting forum, the mum explained she’s been home with her two daughters, aged almost four and 21 months, for the past two years. While her eldest attends child care for up to four days a week, she’s caring for her toddler full-time, managing the cooking, cleaning, household admin and the bulk of the day-to-day running of the home.

Her husband pitches in after work with jobs like tidying after dinner, taking the bins out and feeding the dogs, but she says she’s grateful for even that because she sees most of the housework as her responsibility.

There’s just one problem.

“I absolutely despise cleaning,” she admitted.

“I know it’s my job now as a SAHM but I hate it so much. I also don’t have much time to do it as my 21 month old barely naps, only around 30 mins a day if at all and both kids have late bed times (low sleep needs) so I clean when my husband can watch the kids on the weekend or after the kids sleep at like 10pm. I would really love to get a cleaner maybe even once a month to do the jobs I really hate doing.”

The mum explained they can technically afford a cleaner for now thanks to her redundancy payout, but she’s conscious that every extra expense means she’ll need to return to work sooner.

She also revealed she has an ongoing problem with her right arm, making heavier cleaning physically painful. Even though her husband has offered to do more of the cleaning himself, she feels guilty asking him to take on extra chores after working all day.

“So my question is, would you judge a SAHM for having a cleaner? Do other SAHMs do this?”

Parents say being home doesn’t mean being ‘on call’ for cleaning

The overwhelming response was one of support, with many parents pointing out that caring for young children is already a full-time job.

Many said looking after toddlers all day leaves very little uninterrupted time to scrub bathrooms, mop floors or deep clean the house.

Others argued that if paying for a cleaner improves family life and reduces stress, it’s money well spent, regardless of who earns the income.

Several stay-at-home mums admitted they also have cleaners, while others said they wished they could afford one.

‘You’re a parent, not a housekeeper’

Many commenters challenged the idea that a stay-at-home parent’s role is to do every household task.

They argued that childcare, meal preparation, appointments, shopping and the endless mental load are all part of the job, leaving little time or energy for deep cleaning.

Others encouraged the mum to stop feeling guilty, particularly given her arm injury, and reminded her that outsourcing one task doesn’t make her any less of a capable parent.

Others said it’s about priorities

A smaller number felt that hiring a cleaner while relying partly on savings wasn’t the best financial decision.

Some suggested cutting back elsewhere or waiting until the children are older, while others encouraged her husband to simply take on more of the heavier jobs if he’s already happy to help.

But even many of those commenters agreed there was nothing inherently wrong with a stay-at-home parent having a cleaner if the family could comfortably manage the cost.

What do you think?

Should stay-at-home parents feel responsible for all the housework, or is hiring a cleaner simply another way of sharing the family workload? Would you spend the money if it meant less stress at home?

(Feature image: Photo by Paul Hanaoka on Unsplash)