I try to regularly visit both my parents and also my in-laws. I am lucky to have a really good relationship with my parents and so it is always fun to visit with my 18 month old daughter (only grandchild). I used to have a good relationship with my in-laws but since having my daughter it has been difficult. I only ever visit with my husband to try to diffuse the tension. On this last visit my father-in-law pointed out every little scratch and bruise my daughter has. To say she is spirited is an understatement – she is rough and excitable and as a result takes some good tumbles! I wouldn’t be so annoyed if there had been some counter-balance of nice comments as well but it was all ‘did she get that scratch on her arm here?’ and ‘looks like she has a bruise on her head’. Whatever happened to the old saying of ‘if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all’.

Posted by kathryn, 17th December 2013

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  • anything nice to say


  • it s a great top story


  • Some people just don;t have a filter and have to say the most inappropriate things.


  • well you will be surprised how unkind and cruel some words can be!


  • kids get bruises and scratches dont worry about him.


  • Kids tumble, and if your daughter bruises like me, then she probably looks like shes been in a fight half the time! dont take it personally :)


  • I hear you, when I first had my daughter (now 7) I came to hate visiting my in-laws. Every cough came with a comment like is she sick or there were bones in that, every attempt to run, climb, walk, jump etc. was met with panicked comments or attempts to stop her. I never knew that grandparents (especially your inlaws) felt they had the right to comment on your parenting and often wonder what would happen if I just told them to shut up. Try to ignore them, you do know best…


  • Don’t take it too heart. They sometimes don’t know what to say and men tend to not phrase things well and can be negative. They also forget that at her age what abilities and adventurous nature they have. Underneath maybe he was saying I hope she didn’t hurt herself. Try and take light of the situation. Fine line between parents, in laws with children/grandchildren. Sometimes boundaries get crossed. Shorter visits or say something to a nice way to him and he may stop.

    • What well thought out advice you have given


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