I first started labouring my son at 21 weeks. I knew it wasnt how pregnancy was meant to happen. We named our baby boy and started planning his funeral. I awoke the next morning and everything had stopped. I was in hospital for two weeks and advised by my gyno to terminate my pregnancy because my baby wouldnt make it to term or he would have mental disorders. I didnt care. After I went home and everything was going smoothly. Then at 27 weeks and 3 days I started bleeding heavily. The next few days were a blur alone in a hospital 4 hoursfrom home away from my children. Alexander was born healthy at 28 weeks, against all odds he was alive and screaming. Id go in everyday and express milk for him. He was 4 days old before I had my first cuddle. Everyday was the same. Express milk go and ear express more milk. The 9 weeks I was away I seen my other children twice for 3 days. It wasnt fair. I ffelt like a jersey cow. I was so emotional all the time and I wished it was easier then it was.
Posted anonymously, 28th October 2014